Writing Feedback / 'Interpersonal skills' - Self Essay [3]

this is for the second sentence in the first paragraph. "Interpersonal skills are not only necessary for sayiny what we need to say" because that sentence was not clear to me.

Writing Feedback / Without a clear goal to focus our energy and drive us to grow, we cease to be truly alive. [2]

The first thing i see wrong with this paper is it's only one paragraph long and a essay is 5 or more paragraphs. Second, you began to anounce you essay by saying "I agee that growth is important....". plus you are missing you thesis statment and your this statment can be something in this nature, since you agree with what their asking you to write " In order to have a happy and productive life growing healthy is required." , then you can start breaking into another paragraph after you finish your Into paragraph. Here are some examples you may use, for your second paragraph you may talk about how growing up and staying focused on school and finishing can help you grow healthier because you will be able to higher your educaution and by doing that you will be wealthier which makes you happy and live a productive life.(but dont forget to explain what your saying and stay on track). you are using to many different pronouns, if your going to start with you stick to it dont change to us, our or we. Make sure you make a topic sentence for ever parapragh.