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Posts by kjhoratio
Joined: Dec 19, 2011
Last Post: Dec 19, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: Kuala Lumpur

Displayed posts: 3
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kjhoratio   
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / "Of Freedom and Education" - Carnegie Mellon Supplement [5]

Hi Chong Liu,

Do you think I should take that sentence off and just start with "Student reviews mentioned helpful..."?

And i agree with your second comment. I'll work on that! Thank you soo much :)))

Anyone else?
kjhoratio   
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / 'just one of my many fieldworks' - CommonApp -Diversity [3]

Hi Chong Liu,

I think it's an engaging and well-written essay. However, I'm not sure if it answers the prompt:-

"Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you."

which asks for an EXPERIENCE or ENCOUNTER which demonstrates diversity. What you've written is more of a process, than an experience.

I think you can keep the main crux of an essay. But pick one specific aspect of amber which you'd like to explore, and explore it well.

Good luck!
kjhoratio   
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / "Of Freedom and Education" - Carnegie Mellon Supplement [5]

Hi guys, please help me with this essay! (:

Prompt: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program to which you are applying.

I came across The Last Lecture at Borders just days after finishing Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie. I convinced myself that it would be unwise to immediately embark on another heart-wrenching tale of a dying professor, so I decided to just watch the video online. I expected an inspiring, yet sorrowful lecture from a man diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. Boy, was I in for a surprise! For an hour, I watched a dying man tell us how to live life; for an hour, I watched a dying man live his life better than most of us do. I admire his infectious smile and positive outlook under those difficult circumstances, his steadfast insistence on having fun in the remaining days of his life. Dr. Randy Pausch's ultimate goals in life were to achieve his childhood dreams, and to help others achieve theirs. He accomplished all those with the help of Carnegie Mellon University which according to him, gave him the freedom and encouragement to carry out his ideas. After the video, I thought hey, I'd like a school like that. I'd like a school which would help me achieve my ambitions, and at the same time make a difference in other people's lives. I'd like to make the world a slightly better place during my time here, which Dr. Pausch certainly did. I'd like CMU to help me, like how it helped him.

Of all the student reviews I read, none of them had anything bad to say about CMU. They mentioned helpful, down-to-earth students, the popular Spring Carnival of booths and buggies, an excellent education in an excellent environment. Their comments show that they are happy there, and make me look (hopefully) forward to life there. I think student satisfaction's really important. You may be at the top-ranked school in the world, but if you're not happy there, you won't learn anything. I want a school with just the right size, with the right kinds of people. I want a school where I'll recognize just about anybody, where my professors will remember my name. I want a school known to offer high quality education and most importantly, a school which provides the perfect platform for me to excel and be somebody in my discipline.

My first choice would be a business degree in the finance track at Tepper School of Business. To me, financial figures tell many tales. They represent a current economic state, and foretell an impending economic change. I currently learn only the fundamentals of financial accounting, but the art of finance is much more than just preparing income statements. It's analyzing and manipulating them to better understand the past, to make better decisions for the present, and to better shape the company's future.

My second choice would be a BA in Economics. On paper, economic theories explain the effect of supply and demand on the allocation of limited resources. On paper, everything interrelated seems to happen for a rightful reason; a change in this always leads to a change in that. Yet in reality, the theories I currently know of do not justify the inequality between those who can afford to trash unconsumed food and those who can barely afford scraps of food on the table. The supply and demand theories do not rationalize the uneven allocation of resources between rich and poor nations. I'd like to know more. The world is unfair; I'd like to know why.

I have two aspirations. I want to be a businessman, and a pilot. I dream to manage my very own flight school someday, maybe even an airline. An education in a business discipline would be invaluable, and so would my passion for flying. I would love nothing more than to see the smiles of students graduating from my school, or of passengers safely arriving at their destinations. I believe the educational freedom and flexibility given by CMU will allow me to one day achieve these dreams.

Thank you so much for your comments! I can take honesty, anddd I'll return the favor :)
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