Yardenah
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I am a Romantic' - Stanford Letter to Future Roommate [13]
I absolutely love this essay! If I was a boy, I would love to have you as a roommate. I didn't think homemade ice-cream could get any better, add some liquid nitrogen and it just did! I really like the reference to Tom Sawyer and the description of your favorite dish to cook. You did a very fine job of describing all of your talents without bragging about them. The only thing I might change is your use of contractions. From what I have learned, they tend to weaken essays. Good luck, hope you get in!
I absolutely love this essay! If I was a boy, I would love to have you as a roommate. I didn't think homemade ice-cream could get any better, add some liquid nitrogen and it just did! I really like the reference to Tom Sawyer and the description of your favorite dish to cook. You did a very fine job of describing all of your talents without bragging about them. The only thing I might change is your use of contractions. From what I have learned, they tend to weaken essays. Good luck, hope you get in!