Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by tsag3493
Joined: Dec 21, 2011
Last Post: Dec 23, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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tsag3493   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / "Dedication to an interest"-common app for CORNELL [3]

I think you did a good job. I really get the feeling of your dedication to piano. I think you should emphasize a little bit more that you ;earned to be very proficient at piano despite owning one, which shows a dedication that not many people have.
tsag3493   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / UPenn Supp-I'M JUST A STORY-TELLER(WHY ESSAY) [5]

I thought it was pretty good. It shows that you have a creative side. However, like the guy above me said, there are a few grammatical errors. Also you can try to word the openings of your paragraphs a little bit differently to be more clear as to what you are doing. All in all I liked your essay, Good Job!
tsag3493   
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / 'the community itself' - What Makes Columbia University Appealing to You [4]

When people think of a lion what usually comes to their mind is a big strong ferocious beast that is often falsely crowned as "king of the jungle". A lion, symbolically, usually represents a person of great stature, strength and leadership ability. While all of these things may be true, I think it is important to note that a lion is nothing without its pride. A lion's pride, ironically, comes with its pride-its family-and single lions are nowhere near as strong as a pride of lions. With Columbia University's mascot as a lion I find myself asking what or where is its pride?

After some research, I have found the answer to this question. Columbia's pride is not just in the members of the faculty and student body but in the community itself. What I find most appealing about Columbia University is that it has immersed itself within the community with programs like the Harlem Robotics League and Engineers without Borders. I am especially amazed at the fact that all of Columbia's first year engineering students are guaranteed internships in the community which is especially unheard of in most colleges.

Columbia's commitment to the community shows me that the university is dedicated in creating well rounded students that are not just top scholars but people who really know how to be people. A lion can never be strong if its pride is weak but I have seen that Columbia is deeply rooted in its pride and I hope that I can one day do the same.

I feel like I need a lot of help, so any advice given would be great. Thank You!
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