loewilson
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / The "Good Will Hunting" Common App Essay- Is it a little risky? [6]
Good ideas here, but lost of grammatical errors.
The night before the start of my exam week freshman year, I stared out into the dark quiet night and pondered why the universe was punishing mewith all these exams being hurled at me. This sounds a bit redundant.
** from the corner of my eye.
**my roommate Joe and I both idly laid down on our semi-broken couches eagerly for the story of the handsome MIT janitor to unfold.
**"Good Will Hunting" before every exam week, similar to how warriors sharpen their swords before a battle.
**us with questions that have dragged around my mind since middle school- Where am I going?, what is my purpose?, and who do I live for? --> Only use ' ' when the quote is inside a quote
**Though the talent one may possess might not be quite the same magnitude of Will's; each and every individual is blessed with dreams, but are often afraid to run towards what he or she wants.--> I would reword this. It reads funny.
**Will Hunting's transformation to a purpose-driven man never seems to grow old for me, Joe, and all my friends as this tradition has come to be ingrained in our lives at Episcopal.
**Born in the states but quickly moving back to Korea as an infant, I have never had any experiences in authentic American culture before when my family decided to temporarily move to the U.S. as my dad took an exchange professorial job at Northwestern University. --> this is a run on sentence
**groups of friends of their own race
**I have watched this movie seven times so far, and it inspires me to keep aspiring for what I want- not just the desires that others what me to fulfill, nor the prejudice in America expects me to be. ( I would take out prejudice, it leaves a bad taste in the readers mouth at the very end of the essay.)
Good ideas here, but lost of grammatical errors.
The night before the start of my exam week freshman year, I stared out into the dark quiet night and pondered why the universe was punishing mewith all these exams being hurled at me. This sounds a bit redundant.
** from the corner of my eye.
**my roommate Joe and I both idly laid down on our semi-broken couches eagerly for the story of the handsome MIT janitor to unfold.
**"Good Will Hunting" before every exam week, similar to how warriors sharpen their swords before a battle.
**us with questions that have dragged around my mind since middle school- Where am I going?, what is my purpose?, and who do I live for? --> Only use ' ' when the quote is inside a quote
**Though the talent one may possess might not be quite the same magnitude of Will's; each and every individual is blessed with dreams, but are often afraid to run towards what he or she wants.--> I would reword this. It reads funny.
**Will Hunting's transformation to a purpose-driven man never seems to grow old for me, Joe, and all my friends as this tradition has come to be ingrained in our lives at Episcopal.
**Born in the states but quickly moving back to Korea as an infant, I have never had any experiences in authentic American culture before when my family decided to temporarily move to the U.S. as my dad took an exchange professorial job at Northwestern University. --> this is a run on sentence
**groups of friends of their own race
**I have watched this movie seven times so far, and it inspires me to keep aspiring for what I want- not just the desires that others what me to fulfill, nor the prejudice in America expects me to be. ( I would take out prejudice, it leaves a bad taste in the readers mouth at the very end of the essay.)