Undergraduate / 'Marlow' - Common App- Character essay [10]

i really like this essay. the first two paragraphs and especially the commentary on Marlow's dissatisfying positioning in HOD made me laugh. i felt that you clearly described your relationship with Marlow in the 2nd and 4th paragraphs but i feel that you could revise the 3rd paragraph a little bit to make it more personal

overall i think that you are a great writer who would make a great applicant to any college.

also, thank you so much for editing my essay :D

Student Talk / How to speak English fluently and correctly? [62]

I think a great problem that immigrant speakers have in speaking a foreign language is underconfidence in their own abilities. my suggestion would be to read books in english first and then in cambodian and watch english movies (start out with cambodian subtitles and eventually turn off the subtitles) but ultimately you will need to talk to the natives which can be a daunting task. try your best to be a confident speaker even if you know you made a few mistakes.

Undergraduate / (Buddhist stories) Stanford Supp Essay---intellectual development"ancient arts" [6]

I think that those few changes make a great difference to the essay and adds that personal appeal that you are hoping to give to the AO. I think it is amazing now.

but you should still reread it to find any grammatical/ syntax errors

Undergraduate / "The Day I Caught a Thought" LOL sounds like Dr. Seuss (Cornell App Essay) [22]

I love this essay. the only part that slightly cofused me was "now, with the application of knowledge gained from courses taught at Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences, becoming better understood." to the admissions office, it would seem as if you had already gotten admission to the college and are looking in retrospect so I would just changed the tense to future. Other than that, I think it is an amazing essay which shows your strength as a writer.

Undergraduate / 'only who I am' - common app essay "WHO I AM" [23]

You definitely took a risk in making your own essay topic, but, nevertheless, I think it is amazing and truly paints a picture of who you are. I would check it for spelling errors like misspelling Muslim as "Muslin" and grammatical errors before you use it, but I do not think you need to rewrite it. so, i would stick with your first essay.

Writing Feedback / 'avoid repeating fault'; A person should never make an important decision alone. [4]

I think you have some great ideas but you need to be more structured in what you write. also, many of the words that you used present tense for like "refer" you really want to use the past tense "referred". you use personal experiences too much (I do not know if this is the purpose of the essay or not) so I would include some current issues where having help in making a decision is necessary. when you said "is this a helpful course for my major" you should use quotation marks to refer to this. also, the "are" in the last sentence should be changed to a "would" and the ending does not need a question mark, it needs a period.

all in all, you know what you are writing about, you just need to work on grammar and finding better examples

Undergraduate / (Buddhist stories) Stanford Supp Essay---intellectual development"ancient arts" [6]

I think it is a great essay! You have a few things that you could reword such as "For me, ancient arts mean beauty and long history, but bare deep meaning." I find that the last part of this sentence is very vague and does not go with the flow you were going with. also, in some places you switch tenses such as "became less lively as if they are telling..." should be "as if they were". You clearly show a deep connection with the art works but I would try to describe more of how the experience helps you as a person more than simply the cultural impact it had on China.

Make a few changes and I feel that this will become an amazing essay. All the best for Stanford!