Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by JMy [Suspended]
Joined: Dec 24, 2011
Last Post: Dec 30, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

From: Jamaica

Displayed posts: 6
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JMy   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / Girls' Soccer - Common App Extracurricular [4]

@edwkoc Thank you! I'll try to tie it into my academic life :)

@Pradodiana1 Thank you very much! Those are brilliant changes :) I'll be sure to read yours
JMy   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / Girls' Soccer - Common App Extracurricular [4]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

For as long as I can remember, my feet have never been delicate. From a very young age, I became enamored with soccer (or football as we call it in my country), perhaps unknowingly emulating my older brother who lived and breathed the sport. He began me to teach the intricacies of football (by my request) and I fell deeply in love with the sport, initiating a long and somewhat unhealthy relationship.

I began training with my school in the ninth grade, steadily improving my skills and forming bonds with the other girls. We were all very different, yet similar in that we all loved having fun, we were fond of winning, and we worked hard towards our goals. Football became a huge part of me, until I couldn't imagine my life without it. During my time with the school's team, I've gained a wealth of experience in teamwork, coordination and intuition. I now understand what it means to sacrifice, and the important roles that both passion and practice play in life.

My feet may be a bit rough, but I'm proud of what they've accomplished.

(1039 characters)

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I'd also like a little help to get to 1000 characters, are there any unnecessary sentences? I'll read yours, if you'd like

JMy   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / You Are My Sunshine - Common App Essay [6]

@P334243 Thank you :) I'll put more about their influence on me. Sure I'll read yours.

@ZhoeK Zhoooooooooooooe! Thanks yea, I'm gonna put in more about me. Zhoe, your essays are SHOT! As in, I didnt know you could write like that still. Trust me, you're gonna have no problems.

@sarahbee Thank you! I'll be sure to read yours
JMy   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Jazz band / Election day / Perfect school' - Common App/Gettysburg [3]

The first essay is bit impersonal. It sounds like you're just listing off accomplishments. Tell them WHY band is a huge part of your life. Tell them a little about what drew you to band and why you continue to do it.

Your second essay is extremely long. If it's for the Common App, it should be 250 - 500 words long. So either you cut it down a lot, or write about something else.

The last essay is perfect the way it is.
JMy   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / You Are My Sunshine - Common App Essay [6]

Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

"Did you listen to You Are My Sunshine last night?" My voice was laced with a little too much excitement.

"Yeah. It was alright. Not that great though."

This reaction is common in every friend to whom I have recommended the album 'You Are My Sunshine' by Copeland. No matter how close our tastes in music are, there is no one I know with the same passion and appreciation for that album, or even that band.

I found the album by pure chance, perhaps even by mistake, during the summer of 2009. They were presented to me (a divine gift of sorts, I like to believe) in my Youtube suggestions one afternoon. The first song I listened to was 'Chin Up', which I later found out was the third track on the album.

"You'd break your neck to keep your chin up." Aaron Marsh's repetitive haunting vocals resonated deeply within me. That one simple line had so meanings attached to it, all of which I felt applied to me on an emotional level. Instantly I thought of the many times I'd smile through my pain so that I wouldn't become a burden to my friends.

'I'm hurting myself...' The revelation creeped up onto me leaving a bitter, heavy feeling in its wake.

"And the drops come in a snail race down to your neck, and look up, but you were smiling somehow." The drops did form and I found myself actually crying as this song released a combination of emotions so overwhelming and confusing that I began to shake.

Those slow synths and simple melodies seeped and burrowed into my mind, slowly changing my life and opening my eyes to the vast world of indie music. The lyrics, and the power Aaron Marsh contains in his voice were simply incredible and echoed in my heart.

"The world has moved, be quick enough to miss it now... I'm afraid you've stopped to lick your wounds, " he sings in another song, brilliantly referring to how fast the world progresses and how we have to keep moving forward no matter what happens. I've learned a great deal in life lessons from this well-arranged album.

The high, smooth and poetic sounds of each song have tempered me and allowed my mind to experience a new state of almost continuous peace. To this day, humming any one of those songs under my breath can put an end to any festering frustration. There is a special quality this album possesses, that has taught me (and is still teaching me) how to put things into perspective and truly focus on what's in front of me. I can say with conviction that listening to that album was one of the best decisions of my life.

You Are My Sunshine is a breathtaking, stunning release from a band that has changed my life.

Any feedback would greatly appreciated. Be as candid as you like :)
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