Posts by Max8
Joined: Dec 29, 2011 |
Last Post: Dec 29, 2011
Threads: 1 Posts: 3
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From: United States of America
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Displayed posts: 4
Undergraduate /
"Who am I? I am...." Boston University Admissions Essay [6]
Diddo to bookbug_xd
Your narrative is interesting, just cut down in the initial description. For example take out "a teen slightly older than I" how can you know that by just seeing someone. Other than that good descriptions of yourself.
Undergraduate /
search for career paths - Intellectual vitality essay Stanford Supplement [3]
Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development. (2000 characters)
Trying to contain my tears, I watched the documentary on Al Jazeera news channel about a two year old Palestinian boy named Muhammad who died minutes before his medication could reach him. The Israeli government didn't permit him to leave the strip for medical care, not until after two years of hard labor for his father to obtain a one day visa. Muhammad reached Tel Aviv too late. I was taken aback, it reminded of my roots of my strenuous journey from Afghanistan to the land of the free. I had to go through a similar journey to get to where I am today. Fortunately unlike Muhammad I was able to escape to freedom or better said to my savior. At that instance I knew that I needed to do something to prevent such differences, rob the lives of thousands of helpless children.
I began a frenzied search for career paths that would help make a difference in lives such as baby Muhammad's. But, I soon realized I do not have to specialize in any career to aid children in need. I could start with what I have now. I created a website for a school history day project about the Israel Palestine conflict to help spread the word about children such as Muhammad. My friends were outraged and had no idea that conflicts such as these existed in other parts of the world. This enabled me to truly value the freedom that I now have in America and reflect on my life valuing each day a little bit more. Batman's quote best represents my feelings now: "It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."
Undergraduate /
2011 Cornell A&S Supplement Essay [5]
I love the first sentence. Grabs the readers attention. This essay is very strong. Best of luck loveofacademic.
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