Undergraduate / 'Endearing, extraordinary, enchanting' - MAIN COMMON APP ESSAY [5]

Hi there, please read my essay and note any revisions you may suggest. I would be happy to do the same.
Im also trying to decide which essay topic to choose this as, a person who influenced me or a topic of my choice. Because she didnt really influence me, it was what happened to her that impacted me. So maybe its better to go with topic of my choice right ??

"advanced world as we know it." when you get to that part, Word says there should be a comma between 'world' and 'as'. What do you think ??

Endearing, extraordinary, enchanting...what words could I use to even begin describing my sit'to? I was only about eight years old and longed for the hour everyday when I could rush home from the bus stop to see her. Sit'to, which means grandma in Arabic, had one of the most lighthearted personalities in the whole world and would spend hours at a time playing my favorite games, especially dominos. I would lie next to her on the couch, watching our favorite shows, including her beloved Arabic soap operas, while she arranged for me an assortment of fruit. I cherished every minute of it. Much to the envy of all my other cousins whom could only hope being able to visit her, she lived in my very house. But one dreadful afternoon, on my routine rush home to see her, I saw an ambulance pulling away from the driveway. Imagine the horror that serves to shake a little eight-year-old heart. My mom was crying, trying to tell me Sit'to was tired and had to rest, but I instinctively knew that I would never see her again. In one day, my life transformed. That extra special something in my life was taken away. I could not fathom how a woman so spiritually and physically strong, so energetic, with hardly any wrinkles and the most glowing face, could just collapse. As I grew up, I understood she died from breast cancer, a malicious disease that spread to infect my best friend's crucial lymphatic system.

While the smell of sterile hospital hallways and the snap of a latex glove are a far cry from the smell of Sit'tos cooking and the sound of Arabic soap operas, they are explicably linked together for me. The tragic experience of her death marked me with an inexorable desire to pursue medical research. As I matured, I came to realize the immeasurably fantastic applications of scientific investigation that have served to yield the advanced world as we know it. The awards I've received every year in the science fair are significant to me not for their achievement, but because they exemplify progress towards my goal of contributing to these developments. My experiences in the medical field, whether shadowing a renowned physician or through my weekly visits to Shands hospital with the Stanton Medical Society, have amplified my interest in helping people through medical advancements.

My beloved grandmother was the life of every party and every gathering and yet no one could save her life. My dear Sit'to meant everything to me, and yet imagine the millions of mothers, fathers, sons and daughters that have also died from cancer. I am confident that the gradual growth of my scientific passion and endeavor, as well as that of so many others along side me, will provide enhanced treatments and potentially, a final cure. My grandmother can be assured that her colossal inspiration will forever be instilled in my heart and reflected in my pursuits.

THANKS AGAIN IN ADVANCE !! -Mazin