princy1122
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'India - my roots and history' - YALE SUPPLEMENT # 2 [3]
how can i get rid of the redundancy?
how can i get rid of the redundancy?
princy1122
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'India - my roots and history' - YALE SUPPLEMENT # 2 [3]
You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, Short Answer, and Personal Essay. In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.
I, along with thousands of other first generation Americans, make up a new culture. We are the creatures of two different worlds, two different heritages, and two different ways of life. We chose to be neither one nor the other, but instead conform to portray a compromise of the two. Together, we stand as the common ground between India and America. This background of mine is what defines me. It has followed me since birth and exposed me to the values and ideologies of America and India alike. It has led me to have different perspectives, different views, and different interests. Both sides of this compromise represent various parts of my identity and both sides have influenced me in unique ways.
The first, India, holds my roots and my history. It is one that's given me my religion, my customs, and my ethnicity. It's brought me to my 7-year study of bharatanatyam dance and granted me the pleasure of learning a language probably not even heard of by Western society. It lines my home with little gold trinkets and foreign smells. It's what taught me the importance of family and tradition. It's in India I choose to spend my summers, plucking passion fruits, driving a stick shift, and climbing house the roofs of houses with native children. I look to India to in times of despair. It's strict rules and adherences are ones that comfort me. It upholds my spirit. Its lack of tension reminds me that sometimes you need to break yourself down in order to build yourself back up again.
America, on the other hand, is the basis of my now. It's here that I have the freedom to fail, the freedom to explore, and the freedom to learn. America has taught me diligence and altruism, giving me the understanding that hard work and persistence is the key path to success. It has introduced me to the people of the world, the practice of equal opportunity, and the liberal mentalities of society. America gives me confidence to chase my dreams. Whether it is the next trip to New York City or the next stop at Guitar Center, America gives me the chance to experience new interests, a characteristic that has already lead me to my passions in photography and robotics. America to me is where I establish myself.
Living a life of mixed background has never been easy. It has given me a contradictive personality by instilling me with views of two very different races. Today's society tends to calls out culture and diversity. Instead I embrace it. I take voice through my history, be it American or Indian. Together they are places I call home. Both have lent me the gift of diversity. They are how I define myself. They are who I am and who always will be.
You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, Short Answer, and Personal Essay. In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.
I, along with thousands of other first generation Americans, make up a new culture. We are the creatures of two different worlds, two different heritages, and two different ways of life. We chose to be neither one nor the other, but instead conform to portray a compromise of the two. Together, we stand as the common ground between India and America. This background of mine is what defines me. It has followed me since birth and exposed me to the values and ideologies of America and India alike. It has led me to have different perspectives, different views, and different interests. Both sides of this compromise represent various parts of my identity and both sides have influenced me in unique ways.
The first, India, holds my roots and my history. It is one that's given me my religion, my customs, and my ethnicity. It's brought me to my 7-year study of bharatanatyam dance and granted me the pleasure of learning a language probably not even heard of by Western society. It lines my home with little gold trinkets and foreign smells. It's what taught me the importance of family and tradition. It's in India I choose to spend my summers, plucking passion fruits, driving a stick shift, and climbing house the roofs of houses with native children. I look to India to in times of despair. It's strict rules and adherences are ones that comfort me. It upholds my spirit. Its lack of tension reminds me that sometimes you need to break yourself down in order to build yourself back up again.
America, on the other hand, is the basis of my now. It's here that I have the freedom to fail, the freedom to explore, and the freedom to learn. America has taught me diligence and altruism, giving me the understanding that hard work and persistence is the key path to success. It has introduced me to the people of the world, the practice of equal opportunity, and the liberal mentalities of society. America gives me confidence to chase my dreams. Whether it is the next trip to New York City or the next stop at Guitar Center, America gives me the chance to experience new interests, a characteristic that has already lead me to my passions in photography and robotics. America to me is where I establish myself.
Living a life of mixed background has never been easy. It has given me a contradictive personality by instilling me with views of two very different races. Today's society tends to calls out culture and diversity. Instead I embrace it. I take voice through my history, be it American or Indian. Together they are places I call home. Both have lent me the gift of diversity. They are how I define myself. They are who I am and who always will be.
princy1122
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'The Biology program' - NYU Supplement [6]
I like your response, It gives a very good idea of your mentalities and views on life. Also your real world experience relates well to your choice to apply to NYU
I like your response, It gives a very good idea of your mentalities and views on life. Also your real world experience relates well to your choice to apply to NYU
princy1122
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'We tried out best throughout the season' - Yale Supplement [5]
Should I say that it didn't matter?
Should I say that it didn't matter?
princy1122
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'algebra II and trigonometry' - Common app- Elaborate on an activity [22]
Is there a character or word restriction? It seems very short.
Also, I think the last paragraph should say something more about yourself. Talk about how you've changed or what you were thinking. That would def. make it stronger.
Is there a character or word restriction? It seems very short.
Also, I think the last paragraph should say something more about yourself. Talk about how you've changed or what you were thinking. That would def. make it stronger.
princy1122
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'We tried out best throughout the season' - Yale Supplement [5]
1. You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, Short Answer, and Personal Essay. In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words
I stepped down next to Mr. Roboto and took a deep breath. I was 976 miles away from home; it was the last qualifying round of the FIRST International Robotics Championship, and we were one of six teams on the field. I closed me eyes. Faces of my coach, my mentors, and my teammates, all popped into my head. I smiled remembering the joy on their faces when we all realized we qualified for championships. Suddenly I was pulled back to reality. I began circling our robot, running though a mental checklist, like I've done so many times before. Powered? Check. Pressure gages? Check. Communication? Check. I looked up and threw a thumbs up to my driver, knowing fully well that it was last time I would do so for this season. He responded with a smile and a reassuring nod as always. I ran off the field to the driver stations. Suddenly the buzzer sounded. I along with the other two members of my team stepped up to the controls. I was hearing sounds from everywhere. From the stands, from the players on the field, even from my own mouth, shouting directions to my teammates. "The Red One!" I yelled over the noise, and suddenly I saw Mr. Roboto weaving in and out on the field, going to the grab the bright red uber tube. I watched the robotic we spent 6 weeks working on turn around and without a flaw place the tube on the highest rod, and without even looking I knew that my two teammates standing next to me had the same proud smile plastered on their face as I did.
We lost that round. We didn't even make it to semifinals. But I didn't care. Truth was that we tried our very best that season and it paid off. That trip to St. Louis wasn't about being the first team from our school to compete at an International level. It wasn't about missing out on school and homework. It wasn't even about watching the Black Eyed Peas and Willow Smith Live. No, not even close. To me that trip to St. Louis was about the experience. It was about change. The change that I saw my team go through in the moment of need, the change that I saw my self go through in the mists of loss, and the change that my experiences instilled in me. During that trip, I established my interests in linguistics and culture by communicating with people from countries. I strengthen my affinity for science by talking to people from NASA and Lockheed Martin. I learned that I hated the song "Whip my hair", couldn't stand the smell of Thai food, and hated sleeping next to the window. My trip to St. Louis gave me a glimpse of the real world. It gave me the freedom to explore my surroundings without the cloak of protection and comfort of my parents, my home, and my school, and I loved it.
1. You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, Short Answer, and Personal Essay. In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words
I stepped down next to Mr. Roboto and took a deep breath. I was 976 miles away from home; it was the last qualifying round of the FIRST International Robotics Championship, and we were one of six teams on the field. I closed me eyes. Faces of my coach, my mentors, and my teammates, all popped into my head. I smiled remembering the joy on their faces when we all realized we qualified for championships. Suddenly I was pulled back to reality. I began circling our robot, running though a mental checklist, like I've done so many times before. Powered? Check. Pressure gages? Check. Communication? Check. I looked up and threw a thumbs up to my driver, knowing fully well that it was last time I would do so for this season. He responded with a smile and a reassuring nod as always. I ran off the field to the driver stations. Suddenly the buzzer sounded. I along with the other two members of my team stepped up to the controls. I was hearing sounds from everywhere. From the stands, from the players on the field, even from my own mouth, shouting directions to my teammates. "The Red One!" I yelled over the noise, and suddenly I saw Mr. Roboto weaving in and out on the field, going to the grab the bright red uber tube. I watched the robotic we spent 6 weeks working on turn around and without a flaw place the tube on the highest rod, and without even looking I knew that my two teammates standing next to me had the same proud smile plastered on their face as I did.
We lost that round. We didn't even make it to semifinals. But I didn't care. Truth was that we tried our very best that season and it paid off. That trip to St. Louis wasn't about being the first team from our school to compete at an International level. It wasn't about missing out on school and homework. It wasn't even about watching the Black Eyed Peas and Willow Smith Live. No, not even close. To me that trip to St. Louis was about the experience. It was about change. The change that I saw my team go through in the moment of need, the change that I saw my self go through in the mists of loss, and the change that my experiences instilled in me. During that trip, I established my interests in linguistics and culture by communicating with people from countries. I strengthen my affinity for science by talking to people from NASA and Lockheed Martin. I learned that I hated the song "Whip my hair", couldn't stand the smell of Thai food, and hated sleeping next to the window. My trip to St. Louis gave me a glimpse of the real world. It gave me the freedom to explore my surroundings without the cloak of protection and comfort of my parents, my home, and my school, and I loved it.