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Posts by estandiaa
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Last Post: Dec 30, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: Mexico

Displayed posts: 4
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estandiaa   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / I had the opportunity to live in Germany for a year; intellectual vitality essay [2]

Hello to all. I am from a Spanish speaking country and am applying to Stanford. I will be thankful for any feedback. Don't worry if you are harsh.

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development. 2000 Char

After numerous years learning German, I had the opportunity to live in Germany for a year because I was awarded a scholarship to a scholarship due to my academic performance. In August 2009 I set foot in the "Saechsisches Landesgymnasium Sankt Afra" (Federal School of Saxony-Saint Afra). Being there was an experience different to anything else, as it is an "elite-school" with a difficult application process and stellar academic curricula, which encourage a very capable and enormously motivated student body.

In the second semester in the German course we were to read Goethe's Faust: The First Part of the Tragedy. At first I was intimidated by the play as it was the first book in the German language I had seen written all in rhyme. Aside from the noteworthy style, my classmates regarded it as complicated and difficult to read. After the initial panic, I set aside my anticipations and started reading it, at first I found it extremely complicated and difficult to understand; I had to consult the dictionary countless times. As I continued with the play I got more and more intrigued by the plot and appreciated Goethe's mastery. I identified with Faust's pursue of knowledge as I also seek to increase my understanding every day. More importantly, it left me the conception that deals which offer a great reward, but require the violation of one's principles, most often than not, end wrong and harm the persons one cares the most about. Despite the difficult language I deeply enjoyed the book and was happy to discover how many other stories are based in its interpretation of the Faust legend. I realized that its reputation as one of the cornerstones of the German literature is entirely deserved and I discovered the joy of reading in the original language, as there is no way to truthfully translate this book to any language. Finally, I was surprised by my proficiency in German.
estandiaa   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Me fascinated with the human body' - Supplemental Essay to Harvard [3]

Hello Abigail,
Here are my impressions on your essay:
- First of all, I would remove the part "but genetics and human development were by far my favorites" because it brings nothing to the text.

- It seems it has to be a short essay; in that case I would suggest focusing only on the medical part and reducing the administrative part to a sentence or two.

- Using the resource of starting with what you taught before and how your opinion changed is a great strategy. Nonetheless, I think the two paragraphs shouldn't have the same structure of before -> event -> after.

- Maybe if you centered on the most important event in your biology class (an experiment, topic, presentation, etc.) to your wanting to become a doctor your essay would be more solid.

Best of luck.
estandiaa   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Footsteps' - Common app essay [9]

Hello Gotpho,
I read you essay and here are my taughts (sorry if I am harsh)
- I like how you bring the reader to be with you as you walk the streets and go into Dorchester Youth Collaborative, it really helps to keep the reader interested.

- It might be because English is not my mother tongue, but I feel that you use too many complicated words like ruminations and saunter, just to name a few. Many of these words seem "forced" and hinder the flow of the text. Furthermore, it gives the text a slight bombastic felling. I think you could "relax" a bit your text in order to make it more akin to your topic: breakdance.

- I am not sure to which prompt you are answering, as there are several for the common app essay but, all in all, I think use too much text to describe the surroundings and too little regarding the actual impact of the experience to you and how it changed you. After reading it, I have the feeling all you said with the text was that thanks to breakdance your self-confidence increased. I think you should edit it to focus more in how you changed.

These are my two cents.
Best of luck.
estandiaa   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / Letter to roomate - Stanford supplement [4]

Hello to all. I am from a Spanish speaking country and am applying to Stanford. Please review my letter to a future roommate. I will be thankful for any feedback. Don't worry if you are harsh.

"A Minimalist Geek"



Dear future Roomate,

I am minimalist, as you will see by looking at my desk. Computer, paper, pen; all understated and without unnecessary decorations. My bed further reveals my identity, white sheets without print whatsoever. No photos, not because I don't like my family and friends, but because I don't need photos to remind me of them. I love minimalism because it allows me to focus in what really matters at the moment and leaves everything superfluous aside. But don't worry, our room won't look as a picture in an architecture magazine, I am a bit messy myself and don't expect you to follow my minimalism. I am sure diversity is the spice of life and am pretty diverse myself. I was born in Mexico and have lived there most of my life, my family comes from Germany and I lived there for one year as I studied in a boarding school. I had a roommate and we had a great time together, we cooked pasta almost every night and stayed up until late talking about all possible topics, from current affairs to movies. I love cooking and am sure you will love my dry soup (Mexican dish) and my Currywurst (German dish). Since I am certain, you will also have a very interesting background, I foresee that we will have more than enough conversation topics, all while we eat delicious food.

The subjects I love the most are physics and mathematics, if you do too, then I am sure we can learn much from another and help each other find the best way to solve difficult problems. In case you don't I will be glad to help out and, maybe, one day, you'll like them too. Don't think I am all about studying; I love being with my friends, but having time alone is also very important to me. I balance the three in order to feel at peace.

I look forward to meet you and to the lasting friendship we are certainly going to develop.
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