Scholarship / "I can do" mindset - I deserve this scholarship ! [Scholaships for Japan intl uni] [5]

Please help me with this one. I'm not sure whether this one is good or not.. It is said that i should write about 300 words, is it okay for me to write 350 words like this one below? If not, please help me to omit some words :)) And i got a problem with expressing[/b] my financial needs too , is it good enough? Thank you so much for you help :)

[b]How well do you intend to perform academically as an *** scholarship recipient?
I am a hard-working student with firm determination. Once I set a goal, I do my best to achieve it. I love challenges. I never do something halfway; I manage to do it until the finish line. I am a fast-learner. I absorbed everything very fast. Time is a very vital aspect for me. Ideas spark in a second. I am eager to try something new and ready to take the risks. One thing I value a lot is my "I can do" mindset. Whenever I face a problem, I said to myself that I can do it, because I believe; we are what we think. With this "I can do" mindset, I manage to be determined, open-minded, and ambitious person who always accomplish high achievements. All my life, I have always been ranked the top three in school.

Since I discovered it, attending *** has been my fondest dream. And when I heard about the scholarship, it added more flame to my burning desire. I realize my family economic condition. My family is not rich nor poor, an average family who lives in a developing country. I know it will be a big burden for my parents if I continue my education in ***. But I believe this situation can not tie me down. Contradictory, it encourages me to work even harder than others. It's like if I used to eat with an ordinary spoon then someone offered me a silver spoon. Thus, I will run as fast as I could to get it than the other people who always use it in their lifetime.

I'm aware that getting this scholarship is not easy and took many sacrifices. This gold opportunity that I embraced with full of struggle will not be abandoned just like that. I will definitely give my best performance in ***. I will preserve my good achievements. I do not want to miss a single opportunity there, like joining competitions, volunteering in social activities, and being part of organizations. I believe this is a gateway to my dream and I will prove to everyone that I deserve this scholarship.

Undergraduate / Dream Comes True! [My choir experience-APP ESSAY for Japan Intl Uni] [3]

Please help me to reviews my essay. I'm not sure whether this one is good enough, please give me comments regarding this topic. I still need to tighten up the words maybe. Thanks for your help :D

Please write about any commendable experiences that you have.

I was at my 7th grade when I joined my school's choir. I never think that small step I was taking could turn my world 180 degrees. It shapes me into a completely different person. I was a totally plain person who lived in a very simple world back then. Everything is flat. Thus, I joined the choir audition hoping it could give colors to my toneless life. And it is.

Become a choir member is not easy. I thought that what I need to do was just singing, but it was wrong. My first choir competition is totally a big mess because the members can not get along well. Since then, we got the character building lesson. We learned about teamwork and solidarity. As time pass by, my choir team became very solid and it gave a good impact to our performances as well. That time, we shared a big dream; we want to be the world's champion!

It started by small performances and concerts. Then, we joined national competition and became the champion. We also join some international competitions. In 2010, we joined the most prestigious choir championship: World Choir Games. The process was very tough. We practiced three times a week after school. We skipped many classes. Assignment piled up. I have to do exams which materials I didn't even understand. Moreover, I didn't take any courses. In holidays, we practiced choir for hours. At the top of my frustration, I suddenly realize that later in real life, I will not focus doing only one thing either. I will face different things that I must handle as well. I decided to take this process as a lesson for me. I commit to myself that I must confront everything wisely. In the end, I can do my best in choir while maintain my good marks. I learned to manage time precisely.

It turned out that all the hard work was not in vain. We become the champion of the world. For many months, I struggling hour after hour each day and it was all paid off. It was all over and I had no regrets. I become a more mature person with full of confidence through choir. This is the new me, who ready to excel challenges, and with my tenacity, I believe I can do anything.