Posts by inakilopez

inakilopez

Jan 25, 2012

Undergraduate / "Cheap House Is Not Available" - Apply for University of Texas. [4]

That new paragraph looks promising!

The Financial Analyst Program McCombs offers is so unique that excites me a lot. I really want to gain experience as a analyst during my undergraduate period so that my future resume will be much weighted, and I believe the experience will push me to learn something useful in practice, which will certainly benefit my career. In addition, the city Austin attracts me as its steadily prospering. Out of interest, I learnt that Austin is listed among top 5 real estate markets from the Real Estate report from PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP and the Urban Land Institute. Thus, studying the real estate in such an environment can be a good start for my future career.

If you want to get rid of some info, you can delete some of the specific info about Real Estate, and just compare your hometown with big american cities in a larger scale. I feel this paragraph is taking the place of some really valuable information about yourself.

Good luck!

inakilopez

Jan 12, 2012

Undergraduate / "Cheap House Is Not Available" - Apply for University of Texas. [4]

I wrote some corrections in red , suggestions in blue , and comments in green .

There is a popular joke in China that the word "CHINA" is the abbreviation of "Cheap House Is Not Available". Growing up in Hangzhou, a city that has the highest average property price in China, I began to have an interest in real estate and paid close attention to the housing price. I witnessed the housing price surging in my hometown through last several years. When I was 8 (Year 2001), my father purchased an apartment in the downtown area with a price of $58 per square foot . Today, the apartments in the same district have a market price at $531 per square foot , almost 9 times of the price ten years ago. This year, however, for the first time the average property prices in Hangzhou and other Chinese cities saw a consecutive monthly decline. Seeing the housing price increasing exponentially, this intrigued my curiosity to explore all the other influencing factors that are driving this price surge in real estate other than just the supply vs. demand. What are the primary driving factors that contributed to the sharp increase in housing price, especially in the last 4 years? Why the average housing price in Hangzhou ($357 per square foot ) is significantly higher than that in many American mega cities such as Chicago ($150 per square foot ) and Los Angeles ($256 per square foot ), while the average income per capita in Hangzhou is much lower than the average income in cities like Chicago or Los Angeles? What is the economical and financial impact to the real estate market as the government is making effort to deflate the property bubble? To figure out these problems, I need a professional insight and much more knowledge about economics and business. This is why I want to major in real estate.

In my future academic life, I would like to mix and apply my international perspective to study real estate and diverse knowledge in business. Also, my dream career is working in developing real estate or value and invest in it , which requires professional skills as well as comprehensive business knowledge, like accounting, finance, and marketing. As one of the most prestigious business schools, McCombs excels at all of its programs, which would allow me to explore multiple business areas. In particular, McCombs has the one of the best real estate programs in the country, which my current school is lacking in this area.I wouldn't write about the ranking of the school. The already know they are one of the best. I would focus on specific reasons (i.e. a specific subject you can't find somewhere else). You can keep the lacking part.

Besides the strong academics, all the other aspects of University of Texas-Austin are attracting me to want to be part of the school. Unlike other international students I want to devote myself to McCombs business school not just for a higher GPA, but also positively influence the campus with my personality. First, I love people, and I feel comfortable interacting with people from all over the world. I hope my future job will allow me to meet and communicate with people, rather than studying in a small office or laboratory like a professional nerd.(I wouldn't use this. It can be a bit controversial, as some of the people in the admissions committee might be, in fact, nerds) Thus, I see the value for me to be in Business. Second , leadership is what I always strive to cultivate, because I understand leading a diverse group of people can be very challenging but also very rewarding for companies if proper skills are applied. Now I am in the Leadership Institute Program, from which I learned and developed(unless you are still doing it, then it would be "am learning and developing") my leadership skills, which can be applied to my campus social life. From what I know University of Texas-Austin's campus is enriched by students' activities and cultural events. Therefore I would like to enhance the diversity experiences of students on campus, and use my understanding of another culture to help increase the cultural awareness for students on campus.

Hope it helps!

inakilopez

Jan 12, 2012

Undergraduate / 'looking through some old photos' - U Mich - Ann Arbor - Short Essay - Community [3]

Your personal history is very interesting and inspiring, but in my opinion, you're not describing the community you chose. Maybe you could summarize your background a bit more and talk about how important you are in the many communities you mention.

Within my community, I'm the son, brother, friend, classmate, teammate and Samaritan, all at once. My life is my community, and my role is to live my life to the fullest.

This closing statement is great. I would keep it.

Hope it helps!

inakilopez

Jan 10, 2012

Graduate / Personal Statement-MSc Evolution of Language and Cognition-University of Edinburgh [NEW]

I've been working on this Personal Statement for months now and I think it's ready to go public. I know it's far from finished, so I would appreciate your critique. The University of Edinburgh is my only option for Graduate Studies at the moment, so I need an essay that will get me in! I need to present a Personal Statement and a document about "Relevant Knowledge" on the field. Each one has to have 3,500 characters or less. Please correct any grammar and punctuation errors, as I am not an English native-speaker.

Thank you very much!!

Personal Statement Guidelines
This should include why you feel you are qualified to enter the programme and how you think it may affect your career prospects. If you are applying for a Masters programme and your chosen programme has more than one area of specialism or theme you should indicate here which area(s) you wish to specialise in (max 3500 chars - approx. 500 words).

Seeking a degree in language studies had never crossed my mind by the time I finished Secondary School. All I wanted to be was an electric bass player and songwriter, thus I set my mind on achieving so. After four semesters in one of the best music schools in Mexico, I understood that what I found most appealing was not the process of making and performing music, but the feeling people get when they listen to it. The psychological approach fascinated me, as I understood music as a language - an old passion of mine, all human beings are fluent in a non-conscious way.

Even though Universidad Iberoamericana, my alma mater, could not offer a more extensive curriculum on areas pertaining to language because it is a more clinically-oriented school, I have made my way as a research-oriented student, known within the Department of Psychology because of my passion for this topic. This enthusiasm became a part of my life since my teenage years, while studying Etymology and Psychology classes in Secondary School. The fact that sounds and silences, images, and movements can be arranged in certain manners to symbolise something that might be utterly intangible is something that amazes me to this very day.

By my seventh semester, I led two important research projects concerning this topic. The first is about the learning process of a second language and its ties to motivation. I am currently involved in the second -and biggest one yet: the parallel development of two languages in first generation Mexican immigrant children in New York City and the effects it has on their education.

To obtain a Masters Degree in Evolution of Language and Cognition will be a massive step towards my ultimate goal, which is becoming an experienced researcher and a University Professor in language studies. It will undoubtedly complement the data I received in these topics during my undergraduate, the readings I have done, and should impulse my career in an enormous manner.

Personally, I opted to look for a programme that could give me the most extensive knowledge in the areas that I am choosing to specialize in, where the most experienced and brilliant minds instruct newfound talents, and where academic life is so much better established than in Latin America. It has become evident that studying in the United Kingdom, especially in Edinburgh, is the way to go.

The programme -which combines diverse areas, such as philosophy, psychology, and informatics, is the most complete among the several I have looked into. Cognitive Science and Linguistics Doctorate Programmes in American and other European Universities have failed to attract my attention the way The University of Edinburgh has. The opportunity to work with the Language Evolution and Computation Research Unit will be a cornerstone in my formation as a productive scholar in the field of language evolution, and a chance for me to give back something to the field that I love.

My short-term plans after graduating include continuing my studies in a Doctoral programme (hopefully at The University of Edinburgh as well) which can give me the practical experience to go with the theoretical side of the Masters Degree. Following this, I intend to become a university professor in my home country to transmit my knowledge and to start a research group in this subject. I see myself as a prolific researcher, publishing in journals and writing my own books for the further growth of the field.

Releant Knowledge Guidelines:
This may include details of required laboratory, computer programming, specialised software packages skills or voluntary work that you have undertaken pertinent to the programme. If you have not yet finished your first degree, please tell us about the programme of study you are taking (max 3500 chars - approx. 500 words).

As a last year student in Psychology, I have acquired a wide array of knowledge such as various theories of the mind, a current state of cognitive sciences, and a glimpse of theories of the evolution of language, as well as countless valuable experiences, including the opportunity to be part of several research programmes and learning from experienced professors.

Because the Department of Psychology at Universidad Iberoamericana is so clinically-oriented, I have had to do some extensive reading on my own account regarding language and cognitive sciences. Among the publications I have studied are Michael Tomasello's "The Cultural Origins of Human Cognition," "Constructing a Language: A Usage-Based Theory of Language Acquisition," and "Origins of Human Communication"; and Andy Clark's "Being There: Putting Brain, Body and World Together Again," "Mindware: An Introduction to the Philosophy of Cognitive Science," and "Natural Born Cyborgs." I have also done select readings by Steven Pinker, Gary Marcus, Kenny Smith, among other well-renown authors. Using the internet as a great tool for learning, I have been able to virtually attend lectures by Noam Chomsky, Steven Pinker, Simon Kirby, Susan Hunston, and Daniel Dennett, who talk about the evolutionary processes of language, cognition, and perception. Some pertinent knowledge and training I have undertaken also involves self-taught programming languages, such as C, Java, and Perl.

During my undergraduate education I have taken the following courses, which might be relevant to the topics in the Masters Degree in Evolution of Language and Cognition:

- Methodology of Research Design in Psychology
- Philosophical Foundations of Psychology
- Descriptive Statistics Methods
- Inferential Statistics Methods
- Design of Psychological Research
- Qualitative Research
- Language and Thought
- Research Projects

David I. Lopez