Posts by xaviermerino

xaviermerino

Jan 11, 2012

Undergraduate / 'Beijing Youth Technology Innovation Competition' - research transfer essay for Duke [4]

Although it seems to me that your paragraphs are nice, I think this needs work.

"Though knowing that I failed to get the first prize, I was really upset. When I can use the knowledge which self-learnt from the experiment to help other students in my biology class, I suddenly realized that a real scientist puts efforts in research is because of their passion instead of wanting to chase the honor."

I really don't get what you are trying to say with the paragraph but I tried my best and did this.

"Knowing that I failed to get the first prize got me really upset. However, when I could use self-taught knowledge from the experiment to help other students in my biology class, I realized that a real scientist puts efforts in research because of their passion instead of merely chasing honor."

xaviermerino

Jan 11, 2012

Undergraduate / 'I lay my heart on the line' - North Carolina [4]

Some corrections in red.

"The honor of my family, team, and self is at stake."
"My whole body and soul are to be thrown recklessly about the field e very time the ball is snapped; I will be trying to do more than my part. "

Additionally, avoid all contractions!

xaviermerino

Jan 11, 2012

Essays / I picked 'Roman art in the first century'. Getting ideas on how to write this essay? [2]

Hey!.. I had to write an essay once in MLA format. Although I am not sure where my file is, I can help you with a link that was very valuable to me. It shows you how to prepare your paper into MLA format using Word 2007/2010. In the end, once you learn how to use Word with the techniques shown there, you have it easy. It even makes your bibliography!

Check the link: youtube.com/watch?v=3Qf8AfiCcD4

xaviermerino

Jan 11, 2012

Undergraduate / 'dynamic and warm community' - Why did you choose to apply to UCF? [2]

Could someone please provide feedback on my essay? The guidelines say maximum 500 words for two answers. This is just 1 answer.
Thanks in advance.

Word Count: 252

Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

When I was young I always thought of college being distant from me. I never really thought of it as a pleasant experience, but rather a necessary step in life. As I grew up, I realized that I was developing a passion for challenge and hunger for knowledge. This soon led me to enroll into the IB Diploma program and opened my mind towards an international education. As such, I was determined to find a college abroad that suited my need for challenge and academic excellence. Fortunately, my IB Coordinator suggested me to take a look at the University of Central Florida.

UCF seemed to me as a dynamic and warm community. In fact, the endless activities and clubs held within the campus made me feel that there was a space for me in this big family. I immediately recognized my spot after finding that UCF had a Robotics Club. Along with the club, the Electrical and Computer Science faculty's webpage showcased many of the projects that were being run. I felt aligned with the faculty's projects and knew, for real, that this was no coincidence; UCF had to be my school. Additionally, UCF's fine reputation in academic excellence made me want to apply for an accelerated BS + MS degree, knowing that, taking into account the university's prestige, this is a worthy investment.

In the end, I have come to realize that attending UCF might be my best shot into fulfilling my academic expectations, and furthermore, a stimulating and truly pleasant experience.