Posts by secretphuong [Suspended]

secretphuong

Jan 11, 2012

Writing Feedback / 'parents and adult relatives are important people in teenagers' life' - TOEFL IBT [2]

DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT? PARENTS OR ADULT RELATIVES SHOUD MAKE IMPORTANT DECISIONS FOR TEENAGERS. USE SPECIFIC REASONS AND EXAMPLES TO SUPPORT YOUR OPINION

There has been endless discussion whether parents or adult relatives should make important decisions for teenagers or not. Some people believe that parent should take part in making their teenagers' decisions while others show interest in letting teenagers make their own decision. Personally, I am in favor of the latter. Certain reasons will be deeply presented in this piece of writing.

I will begin by listed the reasons why I agree with this statement that teenagers should make their own decisions. First, they should learn how to make up decisions without parents' help, making relationship, for example. Through their state of life, they have lots of relationship, such as girlfriend, boyfriend, classmates, and so on, they have to think what kind of people are good or bad for them, should they go on or end those relations, then, they have to make their own choice. The result here is that they will learn how hard it is to decide such an important things, then they will be more responsible for their choice.

More persuasive reason is that by making their own choice they will get more chance to be more self-determination. One example here is when they decide to attend to university or college. They have to choose what major they want to study, what job they will perform in future life, etc. They themselves will get more self-determination through those important choice. By this way, teenagers will be more self-confident to do all things by themselves.

The last reason I want to presented in this writing is that experience from making wrong decision also help teenagers grow up. One example for this point is when they choose major to study in university or college. They have to know what subject they are good at, are capable of studying. Some teenagers make their own decision to pursue major they don't like, this leading to the fact that they may get fed up with what they are learning, then, waste time making another choice or another majors. Learning from wrong decisions give teenagers more opportunities to learn how to think seriously before doing anything in their life.

In conclusion, true to be told that, parents and adult relatives are important people in teenagers' life, they always support for teenagers' choice. However, letting teenagers make their own decision is not only help them grow up better but it also give them chances to get more experience, self-confidence and self-determination.

secretphuong

Jan 11, 2012

Writing Feedback / 'change is a way of life and brings new colours in it' - IELTS essay [3]

THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO YOUR ESSAY.
Topic; some people prefer to spent their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

We are living in a world encompassed with people from different walks of life. For some spending lives in a same manner has become idiosyncrasy, their lives are devoid of new things and experiences involving change. However, others think that change is a way of life and brings new colours in it. Let's have a debate on both of these issues.

-> In the introduction, you should point out your opinion: which one do you prefer? It could be: different people have different reasons for their choice between spending lives doing the same thing and spending lives with change of things all the time. Personally, the latter is my great choice.

Some people exclaim thatif individuals spend their lives in one tone is because of various reasons. Some are very superstitious and ominous. They believe that if they acquire any change in ways, on which account they spend their lives, bad things will happen to them. Similarly, people attain their habits from their parents and to pay them respect and homage, children keep on reviving the same things and refrain their selves from any change.

-> not IF in this case
Similarly, people attain their habits from their parents and to pay them respect and homage, children keep on reviving the same things and refrain their selves from any change.

-> in this sentence, you use parallel structure. It should be: children keep on reviving the same things and refraining themselves from any change

However, critics argue that without indulging into change, our lives will become sombre and rueful. For instance, if a person does not involve in social communities for a change and he/she remains confined in his /her home and family, is more likely to lead a life full of contempt and depression.

-> if a person is not involved in the change of social community, he or she will be full of contempt and depression.

Furthermore, we are living in a modern age, where technology has made our lives comfortable and easy. This was only possible because people had cordially welcomed the new inventions and if they did not have, then we shall be still living in Stone Age like aboriginal inhabitants.

-> Furthermore, we are living in a modern age, with the development of technology, our life has been improved everyday. This is only possible if people cordially welcome the new inventions, if not, they may not catch up with social where they are living, and be left behind by the change of life.

After contemplating on both views, I conceive that every individual has his/her own disposition. If they believe experimenting with new things in life congenial, then they should pursuit for changes and if not then they should spend a monotonous life.

keep going!

secretphuong

Jan 11, 2012

Writing Feedback / letter, e-mail, or telephone calls are much better than face to face communication [2]

DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT?
FACE-TO-FACE COMMUNICATION IS BETTER THAN OTHER TYPES OF COMMUNICATION, SUCH AS LETTERS, EMAIL, OR TELEPHONE CALLS.
USE SPECIFIC REASONS AND EXAMPLES TO SUPPORT YOU OPINION

Nowadays, some may hold opinions that communication such as letter, e-mail, or telephone calls are much better than face to face communication. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concern, I agree that face to face communication is better than others type of communication. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

I agree with the statement that face to face communication is the most convenient way to communicate without reservation since we can talk directly to people without any difficulty. One example for this point is when you talk directly to your friends, you will immediately receive your friends' response without waiting in a long time. So convenient as it is that you don't need to use any technology to make conversation.

Another reason why I agree with the above statement is that by talking face to face to each other we can express emotion to the listeners. Emotional expressions, such as: happiness, sadness, anger, or distress. Talking face to face helps us express our feeling to the story with emotional reaction, and in doing so, both the listeners and the speakers find it easy to interact with each other. Through mobile phone you can't show your emotional expression to others, just listen and response without seeing each other, or even send email using words to express what we want to talk. This way could lead to another problem is that people may not get the whole meaning of what you want to say to them, they might misunderstand your words.

Lastly, let's move on to the last reason, people can make gesture while talking to others. One example for this point is that when you receive your good news by word of mouth, so happiness you are that you mostly act out your gladness by bursting into tears, laughing out loud and even jumping.

In short, I strongly believe that face to face communication is better than other types of communication. By this way, people themselves can easily express their emotional reaction, make gesture and not have to wait in such long time to receive response from others.