Posts by koniciwa

koniciwa

Feb 9, 2012

Graduate / 'hope to do research in academia' - SOP-Chemical Engineering [2]

I want to be a chemical engineer and establish a career in chemical industry, so I believe that graduate studies will help me to attain my goal. Thus, I have no hesitation to chase my Masters degree in Chemical Engineering. (POOR AND ORDINARY INTRODUCTION-REVISE IT)

Remember when I took part in orientation course at XXX University, and the chairman of department of Chemical Engineering told every freshman that chemical engineers are all-around engineers. He said that chemical industry is indispensable to our life. (TALK ABOUT YOUR SELF, NOT HIM. ) I was impressed of the talk, and I also developed a great interest in the field ( HOW YOU DONE STH. AFTERWARDS? TELL ABOUT IT. LIKE ı SEARCH ABOUT ) because I was amazed how we play much important role for mankind. Therefore, it motivated me to pursue a profession in chemical industry to create innovations by solving oncoming problems like energy crisis, pollution of environment, and global warming and to invent new technology like new applied materials, substitute energy, and recycling resources.

During my undergraduate studies I have acquired a strong background in fundamentals of basic chemical engineering subjects, the curriculum included transport phenomena, unit operations, chemical reaction engineering, and process design.(THEY WILL HAVE YOUR TRANSCRIPT TO SEE THE COURSES. TELL ABOUT WHAT YOU GET FROM COURSES, NOT ALL OF THEM BUT FROM THE SPECIFIC ONES) I got various theoretical concepts and methods which could apply in chemical industry. In process design course, there was a group project that we should design a chemical plant and use AspenPlus to simulate. That is a good start and great experience to realize how chemical plants work. (GOOD EXAMPLE )

I was also exposed to a broad range of areas in chemical engineering that I took many elective courses like waste water treatment plant design, petroleum refining technology, and polymer nano-composites. In my junior year, I did a thesis training under the guidance of Dr. YY, and I did a paper review in subject of polymer membrane applying to fuel cell. The work not only kindled my interest in the polymer field but also reinforced my decision to do research in graduate studies. In my senior year, I did my first research project in chemical processes laboratory course, the synthesis of modified polyimide, was aimed to modify the thermal and chemical stability, and mechanical strength of polyimide. The project enhanced both my research ability and experiment skill.

I am deeply interested in chemical engineering, so I aspire to pursue graduate studies to continue my education. It is helpful to accomplish my career goal, and I can develop my knowledge, gain ample opportunities to do further research, and be well-trained to be an all-around engineer. This constitutes the very motivation behind my present application for a M.S. Program from XXX University. Your graduate program blends high quality course and research facilities in every field. I am particularly interested in advanced materials, I hope to be involved in some related research at XXX University. The broadness of research done would allow me to pursue my interests in-depth and turn theoretical concepts to practical applications. Hence, I am strongly looking forward to receiving the best graduate education at XXX University. (IT IS MORE LIKE A CONCLUSION )

After completing my Master degree in chemical engineering, I know I have enough ability to be a chemical engineer. I will pursue a career where I can be creatively involved in problem-solving and invent advanced materials profiting mankind, like new polymer composites substituting for traditional metal materials. In long term, I have a ultimate career goal that I want to scale up the process in laboratory to build my own chemical plant.

Ultimately, I hope to do research in academia and apply the results to industrial technologies. I feel that a Master program in chemical engineering will go a long way in preparing me for a fruitful career development in the chemical industry. I am sure that your institution is the perfect place to begin my career on the cutting edge of engineering technology. A Master degree will give me the research experience and knowledge to be competitive and competent.

TELL ABOUT "WHY THEY SHOULD CHOOSE YOU"
GIVE MORE SPECIFIC EXAMPLES BESIDE YOUR COURSES THAT YOU TAKE DURING YOUR UNDERGRADUATE DEGREE.THERE ARE SOME GOOD EXAMPLES INSIDE THE ESSAY.

koniciwa

Feb 9, 2012

Writing Feedback / 'making important decisions - you have to consult or discuss' - TOEFL [4]

eradulova
"Person should make decision every day no matter what kind of. Decision making is one of the main things that occupy our mind hour after hour. You get up and go to bed whit F0000](whit) decision.

What decision is? It is mental process that leads us through life. There is two basic kind of decision and they are conscious and unconscious. So we are talking about conscious decision which we divide to problem solving and making choices. ( unnecessary-delete, out of topic. Instead of this tell about the relation of problem solving and decision making, like we encounter problems everyday which make us decide. I have just written it, it may not be the perfect phrase)

Problem solving is always involved whit an analysation of the situation and getting the best solution. And if there is another person that takes a part in situation or has to do with the result, so you are supposed to consult him or discuss the matter. (unnecessary-delete, problem solving is a good point to mention about decision making. However, there is no need to tell much about "problem solving" itself

On the other hand we have that process called making decisions (On the other hand, people go through decision making process every time) . In most cases it is always up to you. You are the one that knows what is the most important or the most appropriate way to take any way. But there is a chance to be involved other person in that case to. Than again you have to consult or discuss whit the other one. (the most relevant part of the essay till now.)

There is one more point.Are the kind of person that is always self confident and do not need to be advised? (combine the first and second sentence with "in addition to that" or "beside") So, we are not able to have any discussion on that matter.

That is what we have in conclusion, in both cases it depends on the situation you are in."

The half of the essay is unrelevant with the topic, what you want to say. You can focus on the relation of decision making process and problems. there is not any example, which is very important for TOEFL. If you think that it is based on the situation, I think you should give two opposite examples for this statement. The one must be for deciding on sth. alone, and the other one must be deciding on sth. by getting advice.

koniciwa

Feb 9, 2012

Letters / (professional designer and design entrepreneur) - My cover letter [3]

Thanks for your reply =)

koniciwa

Feb 8, 2012

Letters / (professional designer and design entrepreneur) - My cover letter [3]

Dear all,
First of all, I would like to say hello to everybody. this is my first post =)
I need help about my motivation letter to a Master's program at A University.
I feel that I am not good at it. I am not sure about the format of the letter even, whether it should be in letter format or in an essay format.

Any critics are welcomed, please do not hesitate to comment.

The program states that the motivation letter should address at least the following questions:

Why am I applying for admission to this particular degree programme?
Why should I be admitted?
What interests me in the International Design Business Management programme?

Thank you in advance for your help!

P.S: To shorten I skip some paragraphs

Maybe you notice the structure follows as :

- My latest experiences
- Out comes from my latest experiences
- These outcomes make me study the program
- How fit your program to my desires
- What I aim afterwards
- Why should I be admitted, experiences ( in addition to experiences above, my previous experiences are...)

"
By my definition, a "substantial accomplishment" doesn't have to change the world, but it does have to make a change in your life. I would like to tell a milestone in my life to explain my desire to study BM at A University.

While three friends and I were sitting at a bar in December 2010, we were talking about my problems with handymen. Surprisingly this simple conversation turned into a web based service design project named ....(Telling about the accomplishment)

Besides, I continued my professional life in T, which is a company producing electronics accessories such as tablet cases, till 1st of November, 2011. I learnt "in mould leather application" (IMLA) which is a serial production technique for producing leather snap on cases and brought up a new application by combining leather and metal with IMLA. This new application was greatly appreciated by the owner of the company and improved by the team for production. My work was in a collaborative and innovative environment with a horizontal organizational structure. I experienced the real business flow including R&D process, marketing, finance and management of a global company. I participated in meetings as a designer with global companies such as XXXXXXXX. I gained professional team working and project development skills during my employment in T. I analyzed the value of having a strategy and management of actions in the business due to this strategy.

After resigning from my job at T to follow my aims; now I am developing the projects with my partners. On the other hand I have been studying Msc. ID at X University, which has a reputation in design management field, to develop myself in design management and marketing during this period. During this education, I try to achieve a multidisciplinary perspective by taking classes from MBA.

My observations and experiences during entrepreneurship projects and my employment at T have been that design is a point of difference in the competitive market but it is not sufficient. Actions of the corporation including design, marketing, branding, business flow, customer service etc. must have a fit among each which can be provided by a defined strategy which is the main differentiation point and hard to imitate because it is related to whole design of the business. These statements brought me to a decision that I want to improve myself in business design and strategy. With respect to this, it is essential to have a further insight in management, business and sustainable strategy which I would accomplish by getting further education.

Taking into consideration my purposes, BM program at A University is the best fit for me with its interdisciplinary team work structure which provides different perspectives. In addition to lectures during the program, it is exciting to practice the knowledge and team working with projects conducted in collaboration with companies. The opportunity of doing minor study in entrepreneurship is another fascinating point of the program which differentiates it. I met Z, who is a former alumnus, and I learnt about your program and its benefits which encouraged me to apply to.

Following my graduate study in BM with minor study in entrepreneurship, I aim to start my own start up and, in the long term, to establish a business consultancy for companies to have a valuable strategy. I want to change unregulated services and make people think "there is a better way" which will bring the impact. After gaining experience, I want to help corporations about design management and sustainable strategy in Turkey.

These are ambitious goals, but I believe that if I am given the resources and opportunity, I can reach my highest objectives. Being aware of my enthusiasm towards creating solutions and development, energetic character that leads to action, leadership and communication skills, I just need the right tools to get there. BM offers me those tools and much more.

Looking at my background and connecting the dots, I can say that my decisions brought me to this point with the passion of creating new businesses. I would like to focus on my experiences before the ones stated above in order to clarify that I am suitable for the program.

I studied id at Y University, which enriched my observation skill and creative character. During my bachelor degree, I took classes on entrepreneurship, design management and marketing which provided me a minor business perspective towards design. I joined to .... (Telling about the experiences and activities during bachelor study)

Given my strengths which are being responsible and creative, having enthusiasm towards business design and innovation, leadership and management abilities I assume that I will enrich the program by sharing with my fellow friends my experiences as a professional designer and design entrepreneur. Having been in international environments several times, I have no doubt about adaptation and communication which would bring suitable environment for team working. Besides my cultural background, my previous work and entrepreneurship experiences will bring diversity to the program. "