Posts by Spinosaursus

Spinosaursus

Feb 7, 2012

Undergraduate / 'unsure of my future route' - Why you want to transfer & what you hope to achieve [4]

Perhaps you can use a personal anecdote or experience which relates to your outgoing personality.

Also, always try to include an academic aspect to your reasons to transfer; it makes for a more solid argument. An example could include a switch of majors, a stronger department for your program at Y school.

I believe, from what you have typed out, that you desire a more tight-knit and inclusive college environment, away from the hustle and bustle of the city. You can highlight this by perhaps arguing towards your desire to be in an environment with greater school spirit, approachable and accessible professors and student body.

Spinosaursus

Feb 7, 2012

Graduate / Being the youngest child I could not understand my parent's conflicts that turned worst every time [5]

Since I came to United States , I had been involved in my parent's disagreements. Being the youngest child, I could not understand ~~my parent's conflicts that turned worst every time~~ their heated fights~~, insults~~ and disappointments. In that moment I could not find shelter from the storm. I felt helpless and miserable. I wished with all my heart ~~become~~for a family counselor to help my parents with their problems. So far they ~~cannot~~could not resolve their couple's conflicts, and even now they refuse to seek professional help ~~for therapy~~ . All these cycles in my life helped me to understand that assisting individuals with their personal problems is wonderful and it also gives satisfaction to see how you can help people overcome their conflicts. I hold a B.A. in Sociology and look forward to earning a Master Degree in Mental health counseling.~~because~~ I feel ~~strong that~~ this is the professional track that is the best match for my degree of determination to make constructive difference in the lives of individuals who deal with self- esteem issues, and other personal problems. I look forward to being introduced to many psychology concepts such as brain function, cognition, attention, personality, behavior and many other methods, and researches tools that will enable me to understand individuals and groups to assist individuals and groups with their problems in order to help them become more self-sufficient.

For the last four years, I have been employed with the Young Adult Institute. I am working there as recreational counselor. We also provide various counselor services for people with disabilities. We help~~ing~~ the people we serve to achieve their potential for independence, individuality, productivity and inclusion in their communities. I assist in planning for community activities. I supervise individuals and as a group while in a classroom setting and community events. My experience at options has helped me to develop a much more sophisticated understanding of mental illness. I truly enjoy helping my clients.

I am tremendous interesting doing graduate work in Mental Health counseling because I would like to work with any kind of population who may need of may help to become self- sufficient in society. I feel that my work experience and my parents experience has helped to prepare me to become increasingly effective at working with many kind of population and to develop ongoing special interest in on the area of Mental Health Counseling.

My main long term goal is to someday work as a Mental Health Counselor in a recognized hospital and I would like to determin~~ate~~e a treatment plan that will accomplish my clients and parents goal.

The essay looks good. Here are some writing errors that I believe, when fixed, will improve the flow of your piece.

Spinosaursus

Feb 7, 2012

Undergraduate / (liberal arts / television broadcasting / fantasy world) - Brown [3]

Thank you for your compliment and critique!

Do you think there is anything I should change, or parts that needed clarification or emphasis?

Spinosaursus

Feb 6, 2012

Undergraduate / (liberal arts / television broadcasting / fantasy world) - Brown [3]

I hope you find my three essays a joy to read, critique, and edit. Read away!

Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

It was 11:20PM on a balmy June night, and what was supposedly the most important decision of my life was nearing its deadline. I took a mere glance at the computer screen and hovered the mouse cursor over the accept button; and with one swift stroke, I had enrolled in an academic track that I knew little of.

I entered the gates of the University X at summer's end eager but lost. I was armed only with the knowledge of its academic reputation and I was at company with my high school friends. I mingled with my newfound peers, cheered through the streets of Toronto during orientation; and strode into seminars down lecture halls, notebook and pen in hand confident and eager to learn. But as the trees wept their leaves with the autumn wind, the romance began to fade and my enthusiasm became bittersweet.

University X offers thousands of courses and hundreds of majors. And yet, opportunities for my field of interest, entrepreneurship, is limited. Indeed, the program curriculum is rigidly tailored into three specializations: accounting, general business, and finance. The knowledge of entrepreneurship extends beyond financial statements and strategy, requiring an interdisciplinary grasp of sociology, history, and politics to effectively lead a business.

I craved the opportunity to gain fluency in the dialects of the liberal arts, but through discussions with program advisors, I discovered my major's specialized structure deters this path. Courses are primarily structured with prerequisites, either available only to their specific concentrations or with enrollment restrictions. I felt intellectually shackled.

As with many urban campuses, there was a lack of association of the student body; the majority of the undergraduate body arrives and departs campus with the morning and evening traffic. I seek for an engaging collegial atmosphere, away from the rat race of careerism or the requirements of binoculars to locate professors in class. It is an atmosphere which strives to incubate the growth of friendship and the pursuit of knowledge - a place where I can stretch my wings.

Almost a year later, I find myself again in my familiar pose in front of the computer screen. The time and place: 11:20PM on a still February night. I look through my room, now filled with papers ranging from student reviews to school profiles. Hovering the mouse cursor over the submit button, I click, confident of my decision as I enter a new chapter of my life.

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

Television sets flickered on. The sputtering wheeze of aging equipment and the buzz of lamp lights filled the studio room. Voices crackled through my headset, camera operators raced into position, and technicians scrutinized every switch for error. It was show time. Two thousand faces, including mine, glowed in anticipation as the countdown to zero approached and my segment aired.

Television broadcasting has granted me a new perspective of the world. Each time I film and edit, I am transported into this new reality. I become the bullied schoolgirl, the teen mother, the homeless man down the road. I am part of the story. I am one with the person. I have realized the follies of prejudice and hate. I have learned how to bond with strangers; to look at a situation and its solutions through different perspectives; and most of all, to impart wisdom from life's veterans.

Please tell us more about your interest in transferring: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?

The class snickered at the thought of it being true. The idea was so foreign; playing with LEGOs at my age. What an outlandish hobby for a young adult! LEGOs were the playthings of children, and not for a burgeoning first-year in college. It may be just a toy to some, but I see the plastic bricks differently. It was not just a pile of plastic in the corner of my room; it was a world of fantasy where I could adopt every persona imaginable. On Mondays, I could be Culinary Jason, a renowned chef preparing pizza for the President. On Wednesdays, Paleontologist Jason and his expedition to the Lost World could take the stage. And on Fridays, I could be Inspector Jason solving murder mysteries.

And it was through the adventures of Navigator Jason that I discovered College Hill. And what I found was my fantasy world, reborn. There was an essence in the land, the streets echo it. It bestowed escape from the dictates of requirements and grades. It respects intellectual maturity and tempers the savagery of social rivalry. It was the New Curriculum. Then the realization dawned on me. I could finally learn the effects of international trade on immigration on Mondays, tour with Cortés in Mexico on Tuesdays, and end Friday off battling Voltaire.

And I was not alone. Brunonians live and breathe in a realm built on the zany habits of Economist Mark and his love of hats, Politician Steve with sand sculpting, or Proprietor Jason with LEGOs. Atop College Hill, I could engage in a heated argument about Star Wars between a mathematics professor and history student before I mosey down Thayer Street with a Haitian Populist, Greek artist, and Texan socialist- all my friends - for Thursday night out. I may be Inspector or Superhero Jason, but one still waits: Brunonian Jason.