Killdadevil
Feb 14, 2012
Undergraduate / 'a kid in a faraway land in South America' - UVA transfer [3]
thank you so much for your reply! those were some rookie mistakes! :D
thank you so much for your reply! those were some rookie mistakes! :D
Killdadevil
Feb 12, 2012
Undergraduate / 'a kid in a faraway land in South America' - UVA transfer [3]
---How do your possible career or professional plans relate to your planned course of study? Limit your answer to one page. If you are applying to the College of Arts and Sciences and are undecided about your major, indicate your general area of interest.
- by the way I chose Political plans relate to my course of study.
Dream
As a kid in a faraway land in South America, I always dreamed of obtaining the best education and someday achieve an important political position. I remember the days that I would walk to school in the small town of Montero in Santa Cruz, Bolivia dreaming of the freedom I could bring to my fellow Bolivians through my education and political ambition. When I arrived in the United States in 2003 I saw myself a step closer into my dream of one day returning triumphant to the abused land that I call mine, "mi tierra." My first years in the United States were of hardship and many hours of solitude in a world as strange as Mars. I still recall the hours I would spend in my room reading through simple sentences and trying to understand those scribbles that would give my brain a nuclear holocaust. Though I often felt excluded, those turbulent years of high-school taught me the most about myself.
As I started my College career at Northern Virginia Community College (NOVA) I came to realize that I needed to move fast if I wanted to achieve my goals. During my 2nd semester at NOVA I went to a college fair, and upon stopping at the University of Virginia booth I saw all my childhood dreams turn into a possibility. As the representative described the wonders of UVA and the incredible Darden School of Business I envisioned myself growing through hard work and dedication in a University that would give me the educational foundation that would support the pursuit of my business and political career. Through the education obtained at UVA and the hard work that I can put into my dream I can start building the economic knowledge I need to fulfill my dream of improving the economic hardship my country is going through. However, I feel the only way to reach my goal is to gain acceptance into the College of Arts and Sciences and to nourish my mind in the great educational atmosphere of the school.
---How do your possible career or professional plans relate to your planned course of study? Limit your answer to one page. If you are applying to the College of Arts and Sciences and are undecided about your major, indicate your general area of interest.
- by the way I chose Political plans relate to my course of study.
Dream
As a kid in a faraway land in South America, I always dreamed of obtaining the best education and someday achieve an important political position. I remember the days that I would walk to school in the small town of Montero in Santa Cruz, Bolivia dreaming of the freedom I could bring to my fellow Bolivians through my education and political ambition. When I arrived in the United States in 2003 I saw myself a step closer into my dream of one day returning triumphant to the abused land that I call mine, "mi tierra." My first years in the United States were of hardship and many hours of solitude in a world as strange as Mars. I still recall the hours I would spend in my room reading through simple sentences and trying to understand those scribbles that would give my brain a nuclear holocaust. Though I often felt excluded, those turbulent years of high-school taught me the most about myself.
As I started my College career at Northern Virginia Community College (NOVA) I came to realize that I needed to move fast if I wanted to achieve my goals. During my 2nd semester at NOVA I went to a college fair, and upon stopping at the University of Virginia booth I saw all my childhood dreams turn into a possibility. As the representative described the wonders of UVA and the incredible Darden School of Business I envisioned myself growing through hard work and dedication in a University that would give me the educational foundation that would support the pursuit of my business and political career. Through the education obtained at UVA and the hard work that I can put into my dream I can start building the economic knowledge I need to fulfill my dream of improving the economic hardship my country is going through. However, I feel the only way to reach my goal is to gain acceptance into the College of Arts and Sciences and to nourish my mind in the great educational atmosphere of the school.
Killdadevil
Feb 12, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Opportunities to go out in a quiet town' - TOEFL [3]
boring place in some way, because there is not much to do for fun"- you don't need a comma before "because"
- you could work on your first sentence, for example :"I live in a beautiful quite town surrounded by trees, animals, and a river so clean that I can go fishing for food." be more descriptive, show not tell.
-"Young need place to gather and have fun or play some game, just to socialize." what do you mean by the young? also, you should start your paragraph with a transition word.
-"Cinema is another good opportunity " use another word.
boring place in some way, because there is not much to do for fun"- you don't need a comma before "because"
- you could work on your first sentence, for example :"I live in a beautiful quite town surrounded by trees, animals, and a river so clean that I can go fishing for food." be more descriptive, show not tell.
-"Young need place to gather and have fun or play some game, just to socialize." what do you mean by the young? also, you should start your paragraph with a transition word.
-"Cinema is another good opportunity " use another word.
Killdadevil
Feb 12, 2012
Research Papers / Need help with discursive essay which is based on animal testing? - pros and cons? [3]
Cons: animal have feelings and cruelty to any living thing is inhumane.
- you can give the examples of dogs being used in labs and maybe go an extra mile and address the animal rights being violated in China for fur.
-Make sure you site your sources and use reliable sites. Your school library should have really good resources. (you could use easybib.com to site MLA format)
Cons: animal have feelings and cruelty to any living thing is inhumane.
- you can give the examples of dogs being used in labs and maybe go an extra mile and address the animal rights being violated in China for fur.
-Make sure you site your sources and use reliable sites. Your school library should have really good resources. (you could use easybib.com to site MLA format)
