Undergraduate / 'From the poor slums of Mumbai to America' - Brown application... [6]

What is an academic experience, project, class or book that has influenced or inspired you?

Here's my essay:

Since I was about four years old, I have been intrigued by doctors and have always wondered, "What do I have to do to become such a great person?" I used to often visit my uncle, who is a radiologist at a hospital and every time I visited him, someone would be thanking him. From then on, I had decided that I wanted to become a doctor too. Although this may seem a child's dream, I was dedicated to following the dream through. However, reality stopped me in my tracks.

After my mother's death, my family's economic status started dropping. We never had a lot of money to begin with but, we had enough to survive. But, at that time, we were all suffering. There was no time for me to be selfish and demand books so I could study and become a doctor. Then, my father got a new job, in Singapore. This was the opportunity we had been looking for to get out of our depression and for me to continue my studies.

In Singapore, I found my promised land. In the school that I attended, they had various after school activities and programs. One program was especially interesting to me: The Quill. This was a newspaper that students created to help inform other students about anything that was interesting in the world. I found out that there was a section for medicine and became ecstatic beyond belief. Thereafter, everyday, I would go to the library and do some research on different types of diseases or new medicine. I dedicated my first article to the disease my grandfather had: Parkinson's. All the articles that I wrote for The Quill inspired me to continue studying and reaching for the sky.

Then, it seemed that luck was on my side. My dad was asked to transfer to America for another job. The United States of America, also known as the land of opportunity. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would go from being in the poor slums of Mumbai to the beautiful city of Denville in New Jersey, USA. Unlike most immigrants, the first thing I did was visit the library. I will never forget the illuminated room and the feeling of excitement. It was the first time I had the freedom to read whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Most people take advantage of the luxuries they have in life but all I wanted to do at that time was to delve in the world of medicine and increase my knowledge.

Over the six years that I have lived in America, my wish to become a doctor has only increased and hopefully I will be successful in completing that dream. I continue to interact with my teachers at school as well as doctors at the hospital to learn more about medicine and the lives of doctors. However, I know that I will never forget my teachers and friends in Singapore who helped me take a step forward toward my dream and keep my hopes up. Without that one experience, I doubt I would have had the strength to continue with my dreams.

ummm...i tend to go off topic sometimes or sound awkward or just wrong so plz dont refrain from criticizing my work. Also, i tend to forget words in my train of thought.

Thank you! I really appreciate someone spending time reading my essay.

Undergraduate / Absent parents / Taekwondo - I cant decide which essay to use for my common app essay... [10]

Essay #1

On a seemingly ordinary day in India, my whole life changed. As a child, I went through various tragic experiences that most kids never have to experience. One such tragedy took place when I was three years old; my mother was killed in a train accident. Even though he was physically alive, my father died that day as well. He became an alcoholic and a workaholic. While my father was mourning, my grandparents pampered my brother and me so we would not miss a mother's love. Although I was only three years old, I still felt the impact of my mother's death and since then, I have not been able to be close to anyone for fear of losing them.

Because of both my parents' absences in my childhood, I grew up with no restrictions. As a result, I became unruly, and completely spoiled. Although my grandparents were with me, they did not try to control me. I used to bully other kids in my school and get into a considerable amount of trouble. However, there was a reason for all my misbehavior: I wanted attention. I wanted my father to play with me and talk to me. But, he was still in shock and was not able to take care of my brother and me.

However, on one Friday night in India, I saw a light in my father's eyes, a light of hope and happiness. When he introduced the woman he brought as my mother-to-be, I was a little confused. Although I was happy that my father seemed more lively, I did not understand why we needed anyone else. Unlike the rest of my family, my step-mother did not pity me. In the beginning, I hated her for this. However, as time progresses, I grew to appreciate her perseverance against my stubborn attitudes. For example, I used to never do my homework or keep my room clean. After my step-mom came into my life, I improved. Although I do not always like how my step-mother tries to teach me, I understand her good intentions.

Also, other than improvements in activities, I have become a better person because of my step-mother. As mentioned previously, I used to bully other kids because I wanted attention from the kids and the teachers. With my step-mom, I feel less insecure and I feel that I can finally open up to others. My relationship with other students as well as my family members has improved tremendously over the last four years and I give the credit to my step-mother.

After six years of living with my step-mom and moving to America, I can say that I have become a completely different person. Sometimes I think, "What if my mother had not died?" and "What if my dad had not married my step-mother?" What kind of life would I have had? Through these questions, I have come to realize this: my mother's death brought sorrow and my step-mother's arrival brought happiness. Although I would have loved to have known what my real mother was like, I love my life right now and would not change anything. Because of these experiences, my life will never be the same and I would not have it any other way.

Essay #2

My life has been a roller coaster of events, some good and some bad. However, they have all worked to shape me in a positive way. Growing up in a poor environment, I endured many hardships. As a result, I have become a tough yet sensitive person. At that time, this was a problem for me because I found it hard to control my erratic emotions. Because of my mother's death, my relatives felt the need to pamper me and thus, I was allowed to do whatever I wanted. Subsequently, to get attention, I got into fights at schools and created trouble for all the students. For the most part, those fights were initiated by an insult of my mother. While I believed that I was doing the right thing by protecting my mother's reputation, other children and families were getting hurt.

Yet, after coming to America, I realized that I needed a different way to release my emotions. Therefore, I joined a Taekwondo class. Taekwondo is a martial art that involves techniques that can be used as defense or offense. Through these classes I have learned to control my anger and use that anger in a good way. Now, when I feel angry or upset, I practice taekwondo to let out my feelings. In addition to that, I use my anger as inspiration for my work. For instance, my step-mother and I have several disagreements about how she treats me and how I live my life. When I feel angry or frustrated after a fight, I delve into my homework. This helps me channel all my negative energy and anger into my work. Although I may still lose control every now and then, I have learned that the best way to resolve a situation is by calmly thinking it through.

Taekwondo, especially, has been a life changing experience. I joined martial arts to find some sort of relief from all the anger I felt towards the world, other people and myself. I was lucky; by practicing martial arts, I became a humble and calm person. Once, I was conceited and I intimidated girls my age because I was stronger than them. Thus, I became known as a bully and an outcast. However, on the first day of martial arts class, when I saw the black belts practicing, I realized that there were people stronger than me and I finally felt that I belonged somewhere.

Although I cannot change my past and what I have gone through, I can change my future and how I will react to others. Through the various experiences in my life, I have learned to forgive and be forgiven. Also, I have realized the gravity of my bad actions and how they affect not only my life but also the lives of people who surround me. Do I regret my misbehavior in the past? Yes, I do. But, instead of dwelling the past, I live in the present and strive to make myself a better person.

Also, i would love it if someone could proof read them...

Thank you very much!