Letters / 'A biomedical scientist researching drug treatments' - MY NIH COVER LETTER [2]

Please provide any edits on grammar, style or tone. Also does this show my desire for this opportunity? Any parts that don't make sense?

Thanks!

PROMT
Cover Letter: Describe your research interests, career goals, and reasons for applying for training at the NIH; be certain that your cover letter is specific for this particular program.

The NIH is committed to maintaining its stature as a premiere research institution by building an inclusive workforce, fostering an environment that respects the individual, and offering an opportunity for each person to develop his or her full potential in the pursuit and support of science. We welcome trainees of all genders, races, ethnicities, physical abilities, and socioeconomic backgrounds. If you have unique circumstances, or come from a disadvantaged background, please include this information in your cover letter.

COVER LETTER:
Before I knew what mascara was, I had run several gel electrophoresis and a number of animal dissections. While other children anxiously waited for the release of New Harry Potter books, I was more than pleased with my mom's volumes of pharmacology books ranging from molecular biology to chemistry. From a young age, biology has always intrigued me. As a child, I rejected the typical Barbies and sparkly paraphernalia for any tool which that might help me uncover a cure or unveil a scientific phenomenon.

As I grew older, I opened my realm of curiosities to expand beyond biology and include the study of the human mind. Nonetheless, I found the most effective method in combating life sciences was the pursuit of scholarly inquiries. The past two years in particular have been devoted my most laborious inquisition, to correlate print magazine advertisements to adolescent female body image disturbance. Finding error in the ways of advertisement companies and their unattainable images of beauty seems obvious but trying to display a proven psychological manifestation in those errors is intricate-but its such challenges that I welcome.

While I don't plan to pursue psychology in college, it's the research process that I've fallen in love with. NIH Training speaks to my love of learning and science enrichment while catering to my love of inquiry. I really can't think of a better way to spend my summer than enhancing my research skills and catalyzing my initiation as a medical professional. Eventually I hope to obtain an Md.PhD as biomedical scientist researching drug treatments or even a Doctorate practicing neurosurgery, offering treatments to peoples in remote areas. Coupled with this, I plan to pursue bachelor's degree in Chinese or French with hopes of s living abroad. Yet above all, NIH welcomes the prospect to collaborate with renowned professionals and be in an environment with contemporaries like myself, passionate about research and health.

Writing Feedback / (Subccumb to / Athlete, singer, honor / Mascara) Help my introduction [3]

Which paragraph has the STRONGEST AND MOST INTERESTING introduction??!?!!?!?!
GOALS:Introduction to the subject, the aspects you're interested in and why

Any edits on style or grammar are appreciated! If you think anything needs to be combined please say so!

Thanks!!!!
I will give feedback for feedback!

NUMBER ONE
What will you subccumb to? The thought is unsettling and morbid but one will we all encounter some day. Where I live, the dead outnumber the living. During the late 19th century and early 1900's the western suburbs were simply used as a dumping ground for loved ones where citizens would journey from the bustling metropolis that is Chicago to farewell their friends and family. Today the sight of some of these grave stones leaves me restless. Along many of my daily commutes, the sight of these cemeteries leaves me in constant question: Who were these people? What were they're lives like? But mainly: What diseases or aliments plagued them What medical or physiological dilemma robbed them of their life.

But recently medical advancements has been advancing at a pace faster than the world has ever seen, finding cures and radical treatments which has nearly doubled the life expectancy in the past several decades. I want to be a member of this catalyst society. A healer, doctor, shaman, a physician, not for the six-figure salary or the prestige of Doctor be simply because to me the natural sciences are poetry...

NUMBER TWO
As an athlete, singer, honor & AP student, class representative, student & cultural ambassador I have seen life, school and other individuals from various perspectives. My varying interest assured me that I would need a college which accommodated my need to wet my feet in a variety of things while providing me with a highly developed learning experience.

Despite my diverse interest one thing has remained constant: my love for the study of human life...

NUMBER THREE
Before I knew what mascara was, I had run several gel electrophorisis and numerous animal dissections. Even before I was of age to watch PG-13 movies, I had read and annotated countless scholarly research articles and lead a few minor research projects of my own. From a young age, biology has always captured me. As a child, I rejected the typical Barbies and sparkly paraphernalia for any tool which that might help me uncover a cure or unveil a scientific phenomenon...