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Posts by Gustavo
Joined: Dec 10, 2008
Last Post: Dec 10, 2008
Threads: 2
Posts: 1  
From: Brazil

Displayed posts: 3
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Gustavo   
Dec 10, 2008
Writing Feedback / essay about world crisis [3]

Hi all! Any suggestions on how to improve this text, the vocabulary, the grammar and the cohesion of the ideas? thanks a lot!

The economic crisis, which was only rumors few months ago, is making hard to get credit and work for all. In crisis times it is common to think only in ourselves and how to assure our existence, forgetting to help the others and to think globally. However, this attitude only helps to complicate the situation.

The globalization has facilitated the development of countries that were considered poor before and, as a consequence, the fraction of world production is not negligible anymore. It's clear to notice that the only viable solutions to the crisis problem are those that count on all countries in the globe, because they are more and more representative nowadays.

Rational use of produced resources is an important factor to alleviate the crisis effects. Humankind is passing through recession because the world production is not following the consumption. As a consequence, if consumer countries keep on the waste of resources, soon the poor countries will suffer hardly the consequences of the crisis.

If the nations continue to think in a selfish way they can finish by making worse what is already bad. Wars are very common in times of crisis and they can be avoided if the nations respect each other. In the same way one can steal if he is hungry, the nations can declare war if there is a lack of basic resources.

Selfish thoughts in crisis times are not the solution to escape from that dangerous situation. The solution for a global problem will only work if all the nations take advantage on it, since the solution relies on the cooperation of all. The next step to keep the planet health is to learn better how to play in team.
Gustavo   
Dec 10, 2008
Writing Feedback / "differences in work" essay [NEW]

Hi all, firstly I would like to say that I'm very glad to find this forum, which is a powerful resource to the english language.

Secondly I would like to no if anybody could help me to make my text more understandable to english speakers. I'm a non-english speaker trying to improve my writing skills, so any corrections, vocabulaire changes and other stuff related to improving my text would be very very nice.

Thanks a lot, and here is the essay:


Work is an activity that has always accompanied men and will still last for a long time. The ways of executing the work, on the other hand, vary completely and reflect existing social inequalities. While some people have great opportunities, others only have access to jobs that require great physical efforts, low earnings and conditions with no dignity.

Big differences in working conditions have been presented since old times. During the feudalism and the industrial revolution it was normal to see free men working for those who had the machines or lands. Those work relationships, which are not very far from the ones practiced today, have a lot of characteristics in common with slavery, and they illustrate well the lack of jobs with dignity for all.

The society has created ways to allow persons with better financial conditions, from families with bigger acquisitive power, to have access to the best job offers. Best quality education is, nowadays, an expensive privilege that is only accessible for those who can afford it and, as a consequence, best jobs are only accessible for those with acquisitive power.

Despite bad conditions of some jobs, there are others, such as those in sciences and arts fields that bring satisfaction to those who perform them, and are well paid, since they have great value aggregated in its products. However, few have access to these opportunities because they demand a great amount of investments. The low rate of these kinds of professionals generates more unemployment, and may become a vicious cycle, breaking the development of a nation.

All these different work conditions show us that men constantly change the way of work, but they still can't find a better way to split it with equal dignity. To live in a fair world we need that everybody has a good life and a good job and to that we need to concentrate efforts to assure work with more dignity and less differences to all.

hope u liked it
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