Scholarship / Physics - reasons for majoring in the field of study as described [NEW]

Hi friends,I am applying for few scholarships, and as usual each scholarships need to be submit together with the essay on the given topic. So, now I really need your help to correct my mistakes in the essay, especially the grammar part because my English is quite poor. And also ,if you have any ideas to add in the essay, I would be happy if u can share it with me.

The first and the second questions are just basic questions,it doesn't require us to write an essay.

1.Reasons for majoring in the field of study described in item 6. (physic)

As a person who is driven passionately by mathematical reasoning we apply in our daily life,I think this field of study really suit well on me. Not only I possess an analytical and critical thinking skills which are crucial traits in this discipline, I also tend to be a good observer and always gives an extra attention to the details. Curiosity can kill the cat,many times I curious on how things and machines especially, perform their task and my enthusiasm to learn it will risen up everytime I got the opportunity to do so. Thus, that is why I want to major in this area.

2. Description of desired employment to be taken up after returning home.

I have an aim to be position as an aeronautical engineer in any aviation companies.Specifically in Weststar Group,Eurocopter Malaysia and AirA

Below are the essays.(max 200 words)

1.What is your study plan?

After I got an offer to enroll into any universities, whether it is local university or abroad, my first aim is to really focus on my study including my co-curricular activities, while gaining as much experiences as I could .Then, when I had finish my diploma or foundation, I will certainly continue my study by taking up degree. For my degree I hope to pursue it at any oversea universities, in particular, Japan, German, or United State because they lead the world in engineering course. However ,my study plan is not only that, after I had degree in my hand, I am looking forward to do master followed by PhD .Long way to go ,but as long as I have the will, I believe I can achieve it no matter how long it will take.

2. Why do you think you deserve this scholarship? (help me to cut down this essay,it is 252 words,max is 200 words)

Throughout my first nine years in school, I found that it is hard for me to decide on which path my career would go. Until when I was in form 3, in one of our English class, we learnt about this magnificent woman, Datuk Dr. Mazlan Bt Othman, she is a real warrior. When she first stated her intention to go for astronomy course, people think that she is crazy. But now ,look at where she stands. She really inspires me in the matter of whatever people think of you, you should always go for what you desire the most, and that is when my first step starts. I realized that each time I read magazines or watch documentaries on how the aero planes and aircrafts are build, I get enthusiastic ,so I made up my mind to develop my passion into the professional area. Together with my dynamic characteristic and the determination I have, I really believes that I can excel in this discipline. However, for a person who comes from a middle class family, I found out that in order for me to pursue my study in the aeronautical field, it would greatly cost my family. The fee is so expensive, and I really need financial aid so that I will be able to achieve my dream. Thus, it will be a great opportunity for me if I am offered for this scholarship. This scholarship will not only brings a good fortune for my future, but also gives me chances to bring changes in my family,society and of course my nation.