miawrites
Dec 28, 2008
Undergraduate / Who am I? (200 words) [16]
(I wrote everyday, but hardly realized how amazing a world there was behind what I was writing until one day I saw a piece of work created by a local calligraphist.)
So, this feels like a run-on sentence. I would suggest finding a different way to say this, with an opening sentence that just makes people go "...WHAT?" We've got this one chance to impress them, so be memorable!
(On this journey, I hope to befriend with people with the same aspiration)
Revise this to 'On this journey, I hope to befriend people with the same aspiration.'
Make 'ethnic background' plural.
And with the first sentence, if you're going to keep it, revise it to 'is the person left the real me'. That just sounds awkward. And maybe you could spice it up. This is a great opportunity to show schools who we are aside from the stats and the numbers.
So, I have a question too. Do you think writing my essay about writing fiction, or the idea of publishing a book could be considered intellectual? Is this prompt maybe supposed to be interpreted more strictly?
(I wrote everyday, but hardly realized how amazing a world there was behind what I was writing until one day I saw a piece of work created by a local calligraphist.)
So, this feels like a run-on sentence. I would suggest finding a different way to say this, with an opening sentence that just makes people go "...WHAT?" We've got this one chance to impress them, so be memorable!
(On this journey, I hope to befriend with people with the same aspiration)
Revise this to 'On this journey, I hope to befriend people with the same aspiration.'
Make 'ethnic background' plural.
And with the first sentence, if you're going to keep it, revise it to 'is the person left the real me'. That just sounds awkward. And maybe you could spice it up. This is a great opportunity to show schools who we are aside from the stats and the numbers.
So, I have a question too. Do you think writing my essay about writing fiction, or the idea of publishing a book could be considered intellectual? Is this prompt maybe supposed to be interpreted more strictly?
