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College - the best time when a person participates in other activities which broadens his knowledge [7]
Hi,
I think this is a very good essay, but there are certain missing points to be noticed .
Try to use the connectors like thus, for example, to illustrate, on the other hand, etc ..
Pay attention to the punctuation marks
Stop repeating your ideas
Put one main sentence at the beginning of each of your 3 opinions and then support this sentence. Try to support it by giving example from your own experience. This will be more attractive to read.
I rewrite your good essay with making some changes.
Even though some people think that college is not the best time of ones life but I think otherwise as I feel college is one of the best time for a person. I have three points to state why college is the best time.
Firstly, the disappearance of the necessity to attend and go out at a particular time . Students are allowed to attend their choice of classes in which there are no restriction on leaving the class in between. For example, if one feels that the topic being discussed is not important , she can simply move out without objecting or making any noise. The professors as well as the profs will not penalize any student from doing this.
Secondly, the offering of several activities. College helps its students to participate with each other by giving many activities which other institutions can not offer. On of the most common activities are those which are related to the sport, organizing by different clubs.
On day, I felt that I had to make fresh up to my mind which was involved strongly in the studying affairs. Thus, I took a permission from the college administration and then I went to participate my friends in certain activity, coming back to my lectures in a very bright spirit. In fact, this makes college as a fun place where students attend the college willingly because the students will be able to study and enjoy at the same time. On the other hand, if someone is missing any class, it is possible to take help from the professors later on and cover up for the missed classes.
Thirdly, the confidence given by the students' parents. When the parents feel that their children have grown up, no one in the family questions about their studies. Moreover, if a student is not performing up to the mark then the college administration sends a mail to their parents to meet them in person, so that they are aware . This is done to remove the miss-usage of the flexibility given by the college. Actually, when this aspect of freedom is given to the students, they become responsible and they understand that they need to perform well and not waste their time just in other activities.
To conclude, the college is the best stage of person's life in which it helps not only to learn, but also to participate in many activities which broaden students' knowledge, becoming responsible to themselves and do not waste their time.
