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Posts by ssenroF
Joined: Aug 28, 2012
Last Post: Aug 30, 2012
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From: United States of America

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ssenroF   
Aug 30, 2012
Undergraduate / 'hours, days and months - A Day in the Year of 2045' - Common App Essay [3]

Hellow Essay Forum
Please Note: I posted from my IPhone do the formatting may be off.
The first two lines and the last line should be italicized.
This is my college essay under the create your own prompt section.

​Michael Carey ​​​​​
Aug. 28, 2012​​​​​​
​​​​​​
​​​​ A Day in the Year of 2045 ​​​​​​

While hours, days and months are remembered, seconds tick down silently as decades rise up and pass us by.

The eyes of Michael Carey's progeny are the windows through which this story is told.

My mother's voice signals the alarm at seven o'clock, alerting me of my tardiness. Bare feet tickle the metallic floor as bluish-black windows reflect the morning sun, illuminating my walk towards the elevator that will carry me to my morning repast.


​As I descend, mirrors manifest on the walls while mechanical hands surround me, dressing my nude body. During the automated preparation procedure an automated voice exclaims: "Good morning, do not forget that your father is speaking at school today about biomedical science." While the reminder was automated I still appreciate the notice since I had forgotten about my father.

​Sitting down at my translucent breakfast counter I anxiously wait for breakfast to be made by the home computer. Suddenly the cubes on ceiling emit yellow and blue chemicals which accumulate in front of the two oceans which are my eyes. The recently made green concoction oxidizes and transmutes into breakfast. After finishing my morning routine my ears ring as I hear my father's voice screaming, "We are going to be late".

​ Approaching the car, I can only smile at the complexity of the winged vehicle with its sleek design, folding doors, and turbo jets. Without a sound we leave the ground accelerating into the sky joining a fleet of other airborne vehicles. Several seconds pass before I am bombarded with cars of all shapes and sizes, some spherical, others cubical, like my father's. Rushing to class, we barely make it only to hear my teacher announce that today my father is going talk about his profession.​

​"It is my pleasure to be here today, my name is Michael Carey and I am a Biomedical Engineer.

​While my father rambled on, I look around and notice that many students including myself are unable to resist closing their eyelids. When my father takes out a strange object, the class became alert again.

​"This sphere contains an artificial pancreas that I created." He slams the orb on the floor and the outer shell dissolves revealing a disgusting, sticky looking thing. People who have diabetes cannot make insulin." My father shamelessly picks up the glob of tissue off the floor "However, this pancreas can be given to anyone who has diabetes, allowing them to produce insulin."

Curious about my father's speech, I ask "Why does a person with Diabetes need a pancreas"

Smiling while responding to my question my father states "the pancreas is a critical organ and if it malfunctions you would need to replace natural insulin with injectable insulin, in order to survive."

My friend Rob who was sitting at the back of the room excitedly yells "how awesome dude! I bet cancer is next."

The entire class chuckles while my father stays quiet I ask another question "Why did you choose to make a pancreas."

​"While my pancreas works fine, your grandfather needed one, and ever since I was a young boy, I vowed that when I grew up, I would help him."



Every hour I cherish my father's love

Every Day he injects himself after every meal

Another month passes as I treasure his love

Every second excess insulin destroys his cells
​​
​​ Another Decade I hope he lives.

While hours, days and months are remembered, seconds tick down silently as decades rise up and pass us by.
ssenroF   
Aug 29, 2012
Scholarship / (About Great leaders can ask...") - In Need of a Scholarship Essay Question [3]

What a fascinating position you are in, I really do hope that you get your scholarship.
As for the question, in my experience colleges want a personal essay so it is hard to decide what is best for you however for a general question I think it would be unique to ask the question " Why is asking questions important" I think this question would allow you to answer in a deep, sophisticated manner. You could go into the details into why your specific prompt was chosen, why do people care what type of questions you ask.

Hope I was helpfull- good luck :)
Regards from Michael Carey
ssenroF   
Aug 28, 2012
Undergraduate / "Why Software engineering?"- Drexel VIP short essay [2]

While informative, when I asked for advice on my engineering essay I was told to briefly talk about my "technical qualifications".
What I mean is I would prefer if you focused on what makes you better than your peers, or rather why would Drexel pick you over someone else. Engineering Schools are more likely to care about numbers and percentages than past experiences and ambitions. While you did get your point across I felt that you would give a better impression of an Engineer if you included past or present experiences of you applying your love for Engineering in an actual tangible project.

Good Luck, and I hope you get in
Michael Carey
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