Maemoce
Oct 14, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I am my own student' - app essay (Georgetown) [3]
I think this is really a great essay, and I have to admit I'm personally very fond of this particular format.
Small edits:
I would consider placing "sailor" rather than "pirate" - sailor give you same adventuring idea minus pillaging connotations
About discovering horror - maybe you can connect this to the superwoman aspect? As in, you aren't just discovering it, you're going to do something about it.
I think the superwoman image is good, but the statement "I protect the world from notorious criminals" is a bit much. Are you really doing/planning on doing that? If so, give an example. More likely, you aren't literally doing that. Take that out and focus more on the strength and making a difference aspect.
I really like the "I am my own student" paragraph, since it shows intellectual curiosity and taking advantage of opportunities.
I'm not so sure about the singer and dancer paragraph. The words that stand out are "obnoxiously" and "ungracefully." While this is probably true (I know I'm guilty of it) do you really want those ideas to stand out?
But overall, I think it gives a really good idea of who you are a person, particularly highlighting a desire for service, curiosity, creativity, and confidence.
I think this is really a great essay, and I have to admit I'm personally very fond of this particular format.
Small edits:
I would consider placing "sailor" rather than "pirate" - sailor give you same adventuring idea minus pillaging connotations
About discovering horror - maybe you can connect this to the superwoman aspect? As in, you aren't just discovering it, you're going to do something about it.
I think the superwoman image is good, but the statement "I protect the world from notorious criminals" is a bit much. Are you really doing/planning on doing that? If so, give an example. More likely, you aren't literally doing that. Take that out and focus more on the strength and making a difference aspect.
I really like the "I am my own student" paragraph, since it shows intellectual curiosity and taking advantage of opportunities.
I'm not so sure about the singer and dancer paragraph. The words that stand out are "obnoxiously" and "ungracefully." While this is probably true (I know I'm guilty of it) do you really want those ideas to stand out?
But overall, I think it gives a really good idea of who you are a person, particularly highlighting a desire for service, curiosity, creativity, and confidence.
