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Posts by Bluwinda
Joined: Oct 17, 2012
Last Post: Oct 20, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: Singapore

Displayed posts: 2
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Bluwinda   
Oct 20, 2012
Writing Feedback / Narrative essay in betrayal; 'John Dustin was the most popular boy in school' [2]

Narrative essay in betrayal

John Dustin was the most popular boy in school .He was the typical Mills and Boon hero - tall ,dark and handsome.He was like a Greek God with a well sculpted body and features that even men envied .Every girl in school admired him openly.John was also warm and caring .This endeared him one and all.He had several close friends of both genders but he had only one best friend and that was Ariel .

Soon after finishing Highschool ,both John and Ariel was accepted into the same local university .John majored in accountancy and Ariel studied Pschology.In their final year,they fell in love with each other .It was like a match made in heaven .They complemented each other in every aspect -looks,intelligence and temperament .

Upon graduation,John was hired by a leading accounting firm while Ariel joined a private university. Both .worked hard and they flourished in their respective careers and soon they settled down.It was a simple yet a beautiful marriage ,attended by close friends and family members.Initially, they rented an apartment in the suburbs but within a short span of five years, they become well established in their respective fields and prospered financially .It was the right time for them to start a family, Ariel conceived with a baby.It was the happiest day for them when they heard the first cry their child .After their child was borned John was offered the position of a senior manager and Ariel left her job to b a stay at home mum. Life was good for them .They bought a semi detached home in an exclusive neighborhood .They dined at the best restraints and frequent popular clubs .Their child was literally born with a silver spoon in her mouth ,she went to the best private school and had the best tutor to coach her personally.Basically life was heavenly for then until Lily came about.

Lily was Ariel's younger sister .She had got married and divorced ,not once but twice.Lily seemed to change husbands faster than any movie stars .Knowing that her sister needed her support ,Ariel welcomed lily into her home but she soon came to regret that decision .She realized that Lily was trying to flirt with John! Unashamedly lily took every possible opportunity to flirt with John .What broke her heart was that John was giving too much attention and was falling for Lilly's clutches .

At first ,she advised her sister to maintain her distance fro John and of course ,lily would brush her off by saying tha she saw John as a good friend and nothing more .Being psychologist , Ariel knew Lilly was lying through her teeth .She could read the tell-tele signs from her sister's behavior. Unable to contain her misery she confronted John.she could tolerate it no more ,she gave John an ultimatum.

"Either she leaves or leave !"

John's repond shocked her,to say the least
"You get out of my life .Lily is staying" he exclaimed

Tears rolled down Ariel's eyes endlessly ,hurt and disappointed she ran to their room and packed her bags and left taking with her their daughter.

Ariel decided to move to another town .She started working again .Slowly she picked up the pieces and rebuilt her life .Mean while .John fell deeper and deeper into Lily's hands .He lavished all his wealth on her.As a result,his performance at work started to decline .It was a dismal and the companies profit started to dip.He lost his job.Devastated, he related this to lily but instead of comforting him. She smiled and said " finally my revenge is complete "

"what do you mean , Lily " asked a bewildered jack .

"you snubbed during our school days! You knew I was interested in you but you said I was nothing more than a little sister .I felt hurt and humiliated .you were responsible for my failed marriages ,John I tried looking for you in all the men I had married but to no avail .Now, I made you fall for me ,John .I waited for fifteen years to execute my revenge and I have succeeded ".

It finally dawned upon him that Ariel had been right all along .lily was a gold digger and vengeful .With no one to turn to ,John drown his sorrows with alcohol.He tried to locate Ariel,but he failed no one knew here whereabouts.One day ,while going to an Alcohol Anonymous meeting ,he saw her. He called out to her and begged for forgiveness

"I forgave you John "but I cannot forget the pain that you instilled in me .we can never get back together.Goodbye". With that Ariel walked a way ....On that day John knew that he have lost her forever
Bluwinda   
Oct 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Reducing the effort' - high salary or enjoyable job essay [5]

Hello ..I tried my best please do help me too okk. I changed quite alot of parts please do improve it ok .I

It is undoubtedly true that money is the integral source of our modern society.Majority of the people believe that getting a high salary is the most crucial aspect of job but not everyone have the same perspective.Some people prefer to do jobs that they enjoy doing instead of seeing the amount of salary but both views has it's pros and cons

There are plausible reasons why people look for jobs that offer a good salary.Firstly ,the undeniable fact is that life for those who earn a huge amount of money are able to fulfill their desires without any hesitations of whether they are able to afford it or not.A well paid job obviously enable the person to live a luxurious life with a huge and beautiful house with good interiors and modern facilities like good kitchen appliances and latest cars .

However, life is not all that good with a high pay .For example My neighbor earns a quite huge amount of money.He is able to fulfill his family's desires like having a meal in a high class restaurant and sending his children to a international school Life is not all about a extravagant living right .There is a saying that time is money.My neighbor rarely spend time with his family .he does not even have the opportunity to cherish precious time with his family this could be a trigger to family problems and happiness would be at stake ( u could add this point too if you want )

Besides some people like a career that the enjoy because they claim that money does not bring them happiness,whereas a job that they could have fun makes their life a elated one .When a person enjoys their work they tend

to use their heart and soul to focus on their work,leading to a enhancement of performance level.Moreover a successful career brings a emotional satisfaction to the worker and it benefits the employer

In conclusion I personally inclined to agree with the second view as I fell that a enjoyable job would both provide a person with happiness and confidence to work hard and earn a good amount of salary. ( You have to add in why you do not prefer the job with the high salary)

For example you can say that it would cause depression and it be the downfall of the worker

...ok I tried my best to help you please help me too ok .I hope it benefits you :) good luck
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