Writing Feedback / 'You helped America' - Patriots Pen-TELL MY FOUNDING FATHERS [9]

Here is my essay:

Our founding fathers are some of the greatest people on earth. Their names are still talked about today. They have changed our world so much and have made a great impact on our country. But, before I continue, who are our founding fathers? What have they done? What made them so great? Well, our founding fathers are basically the people who created America. The people who have helped make a strong foundation for the country. There are more than two hundred founding fathers! Some of them are George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, John Jay, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton, John Hancock,and Benjamin Franklin.

Now, so many things have changed. We have so many things they did not have. We have computers, TV's, cell phones, and so much more! We say that we can not survive without these items. How have our forefathers managed? This is what I would tell them about. They changed our world and helped it without any of these gadgets. That must have quite a difficult job for them.

In addition, I would talk about our similarities. For instance, we still have presidential elections today. Currently, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are fighting against each other. Back then, they had plenty of wars! We also have many wars right now. Even now, so many people are hurt while fighting. Many lives are lost. Every day, some family is wishing and hoping that their mother, father, sister, brother, or children will come home.

Finally, I would tell them how our economy is suffering. There are many people without jobs or even homes! How is such a world with such technology in such a terrible condition? There are many people sick and even dying! In fact, we may even have even have the same amount of deaths as our forefathers did.

In summation, I would tell our founding fathers about how they have helped America and how our world is today. What our similarities and differences are. I would tell them that life is like a rollercoaster. It can bring you up and take you down.

What do you guys think? plz give me honest opinion.