hey_yolanda
Nov 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / The power of advertising and ads in the commerce essay [4]
It seems that you are trying to use some big words but you should pay attention to how it fits in your essay , otherwise your points would be low due to the accuracy .
and i've identified some mistakes in your essay .
to some an extent â' to some extent
this is the case true withâ' this is the case with
Viewing at a subtle, people buy what actually the need. â'(if you are trying to say that people actually know what they are buying since they pay attention to details and they are buying what they need ,you can say :) As a matter of fact , people make purchases based on their actual needs .
Eventually, adsâ'NEVER USE ABBREVIATION IN IELTS , change it into advertisements
good luck .
It seems that you are trying to use some big words but you should pay attention to how it fits in your essay , otherwise your points would be low due to the accuracy .
and i've identified some mistakes in your essay .
to some an extent â' to some extent
this is the case true withâ' this is the case with
Viewing at a subtle, people buy what actually the need. â'(if you are trying to say that people actually know what they are buying since they pay attention to details and they are buying what they need ,you can say :) As a matter of fact , people make purchases based on their actual needs .
Eventually, adsâ'NEVER USE ABBREVIATION IN IELTS , change it into advertisements
good luck .