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Posts by bintadiallo
Joined: Nov 26, 2012
Last Post: Nov 26, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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bintadiallo   
Nov 26, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Robotic career' - Stanford [8]

I feel as if you should talk about how every other child was engulfed in the magic of Disney, but you were more interested in reconstruction of robotics and mechanics rather than adding that you went there for the memories in the beginning. Also, at the end of your essay you say that robotics is now a passion you have and then again you say you now have a love for robotics, I think they get it. Overall, your essay was great. I think it's interesting how Disney was the background for your gaining a passion for robotics and mechanics. Like aleckdanielle said tighten up your essay, and you should be good. Good Luck!
bintadiallo   
Nov 26, 2012
Writing Feedback / Most of my family members refer to me by the colloquial expression "foodie" I'm more gourmand though [3]

This essay is very attention grabbing and detailed, I pretty much can see a picture in my mind of how that pig looked and all of those passing by's expressions. Very well written. This is a million dollar essay for sure. I wish my writing skills were as great as yours. Also, it seems like you know very much about food. Are you looking to pursue a career in culinary arts?

Once again, very well done.
bintadiallo   
Nov 26, 2012
Undergraduate / 'College journey / Dream catcher / AFJROTC / Scholarship Action' -Syracuse University [3]

1. Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?

The long journey of finding the ideal college for me began during my sophomore year. While I was searching for the perfect college I came across many that seemed like great schools, but Syracuse University grabbed my attention the most. I want a school that is convenient to me in different aspects, gives me the opportunity to express my individuality, and is strong in academics. That's when Syracuse seemed like the school for me. Researching on the Syracuse website and going through pamphlets I have received brought me to the conclusion that this school is just right for me. At first, I wasn't so sure what I wanted to major in, but over time I have put it all together and have decided that I want to major in international relations. Then, looking for the perfect school for my major came about. That is when I came across Syracuse University once again. Looking more into it, I became interested in Syracuse University's Maxwell School. The fact that it is ranked among the nation's top ten made me realize that if I am to attend, I will be receiving top notch education in the field that I dream of succeeding in. I am certain that this university offers a wealth of opportunities that would enhance my Syracuse experience, which is exactly what any ambitious student, like myself would be searching for.

2. Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?

Ever since I can remember I've always wanted to be just like someone famous or highly respected, but as time has gone by I have realized that as an individual I can be whoever I want to be. So, why not be me, a better, well educated, successful me? My goal is to be able to pursue what I believe to be my career goals and achieve goals way beyond that, such as traveling the world and working as an Intelligence specialist to support military operations. I dream of becoming the person who does whatever I set my mind to, the person who makes a difference in the. I do not want to be anyone else but Fatoumata, the dream catcher.

3.If you have had work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?

During my freshman year of high school, I started engaging myself in any and every community service opportunity I possibly could with AFJROTC. There were community services from cleaning around my school to working with children at the local Boys and Girls club or teaching senior citizens how to work with the latest technology. When I became the community service manager during my sophomore year, I took charge of all community services, all cadet hours, involvement, etc. I gained leadership skills that would help me no matter where I go in life or what I do. I became a committed, motivated, and social person. I started my first paid work experience at McDonald's last year and stood out among all my coworkers. My managers found me to be reliable, hardworking, a fast learner, and very helpful to everyone around me. A couple of months later, I was promoted to a crew trainer. Receiving money for my work never felt nearly as good as helping out my community and knowing I've done something to make a change, no matter how little the change. The skills I had acquired while being very engaged in community service as an ROTC cadet and a community service manager have already helped me become successful, even in my part time job. I will continue to participate in activities, whether it is community service or paid work experience that will broaden my knowledge in becoming a more responsible and motivated leader and a successful individual.

4.Our mission of Scholarship in Action, education for the world in the world, extends beyond the classroom to include engagement opportunities
with our campus community, the City of Syracuse, and locations across the globe. Based on your interests, tell us what real-world experiences
you might pursue during your education at Syracuse as part of this mission.

Classroom walls and desks will never be the limit for me. I plan on expanding my education in the City of Syracuse and around the world. As a student at Syracuse, I plan to continue pursuing my academic and career interests by participating in the astounding study abroad programs offered. I want to have the opportunity to further my interpersonal skills in a foreign country, while learning about the culture and customs of that country. Learning through experience in addition to textbooks and notes has always seemed like a way to receive better quality education and I would love to test my theory out in Syracuse University where the study abroad program is ranked one of the highest quality programs. With that said, I would also love to participate in extensive volunteer work beyond what I have already done. My first priority in addition to my own education is to help shape a freer, more secure and prosperous world. Attending Syracuse University will definitely let me pursue an education for the world in the world.
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