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Posts by everalf1995
Joined: Nov 29, 2012
Last Post: Nov 30, 2012
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everalf1995   
Nov 30, 2012
Undergraduate / UC Personal Statement 2 - Overcoming Depression - 'It was the last week of school' [8]

I was unhappy with my body, so I decided to eat more, eat healthier, and workout frequently and I have stayed consistent because the pride that I get from not feeling scrawny anymore drives me to keep going

try to add something about your weight and/or body at the beginning or in the middle so this sentence doesn't look like it came out of nowhere.

while reading it i noticed you jumped from one topic to another, try to add transitions and show how one thing lead to another. mother got cancer > depression > lost weight? > psychologist > you overcoming the problem. make it all come together at the end. check my essay it might not have good punctuation or grammar but you'll see what i mean

good luck :)
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