Undergraduate / I wish people would take me seriously; Something went unnoticed [4]

There is two important things you need to know before I elaborate my answer, one I have a brother whose 1 year older than me, two he studies Economics in the best school in Mexico.

When asked to describe myself I tend to tell people I am really honest, probably not as the definition demands of saying the truth and only the truth but more as in who am I, so following that statement I will tell you the truth about myself.

For many people I am fearless girl whose not afraid to say what she's thinking, which is partially true except I am not fearless, I don't wish to sound weak because that's something I have never considered myself but I do feel insecure from time to time, like many others with bigger intelligent brothers I have to accept constant comparisons and live with them, well I really wished for that to stop, I want to create my own path, I know we are different but people don't seem to notice that therefore I wish to have the opportunity to go abroad and start from scratch, get to know a completely different culture, meet new people, have my own academic journey where the shadow of my brother remains hidden; don't get me wrong, I love him and he would probably be the person I will miss the most if admitted but I believe is time for us to go our separate ways.

I tried to explain my parents all this, as expected they thought I was jealous of him which I'm not, I'm very happy for him, he's having the time of his life at his university but watching him there and picturing myself there is not something that appeals to me, I really want to start over, experience life from a complete different perspective, loose the comfort my family provides by being close.

This is the first time I have written down how I feel about being in my brother's shadow for so long, since we are pretty close in age and one year apart while in school, teachers and classmates even friends couldn't value us as individuals only I got the worst out of it since I am the little one, for once in my life I wish people would take me seriously and value me without knowing beforehand my brother achievements.