Undergraduate / I always enjoy discussions; Bowdoin / Intellectual Engagement [2]

I would like to know whether I am not providing enough real-life examples in this essay. In short, is it spot-on and does it answer the question prompt appropriately?

Anybody who is intellectually curious likes to experience Intellectual engagement. The friendly arguments, difficult questions countered by informed answers and eureka moments are my educational heaven. Intellectual discovery follows intellectual engagement as mind frontiers open up in the process of listening to others.

I always enjoyed discussions from an early age. My father would go with me as he went to relax and discuss topics such as politics with his age mates. I would occasionally chip in as I was an avid reader of newspapers and watched the news often. I enjoyed listening to them as they used proverbs to defend their stances. That really impressed upon me about the pleasure of social discussions.

I would like to explore the vast fields of Physics, Mathematics and computer technology. I have loved hacking away on my computer making programs to solve problems or do specific tasks ever since I was a little kid and I would like to go the next level and explore the theory and dynamics behind it all because I am aiming for a career in the Computer Industry. I have heavily researched on Bowdoin's excellent undergraduate programs and majors which promise to take a holistic approach to education and offer me a platform to a wonderful intellectual journey which I am really excited on embarking. From the recommendations and advice of myriad College Confidential forum members, I know I will be right at home at Bowdoin College if admitted.

Undergraduate / Volunteer teaching job ; Common App - work experiences [2]

Hi. I'm applying to several Ivy League and Top-tier schools. Is this essay on point and good? How can I improve it?

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
After graduating from high school, I sought to give back to the community that had given so much to me. The one thing I had in my possession is knowledge. So I requested for and was duly granted a volunteer teaching job at a newly formed girls' high school which had inadequate teachers.

I found out that many students had been disillusioned by the sciences claiming that they were 'too challenging' due to an array of reasons, causing many of them to give up on their dreams of careers in the field of science.

Their previous teachers moved through topics quite fast but the students did not speak out when they did not understand. So, I taught at an appropriate pace, encouraged communication and formed study groups where they reinforced what they had learnt. I also increased practical classes to make the lessons enjoyable and memorable.

Quenching their thirsty minds and helping them find the intellectual curiosity- which for a while they thought they had lost - was very satisfying indeed.

995 characters

I would also appreciate it if you could comment on my other essay here.

Undergraduate / Nutrient deficiency disease ; Ivy League/Common App (national concern) [NEW]

This is a common application(commonapp.org) essay. I am applying to several Ivy League schools and top-tier schools so I wanted you guys to rate it and tell me whether it is on point, packs a punch, uses appropriate format and shows somebody who is Ivy League material. Also off course how to improve it.

Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you. (250-500 words)

I was brought up in the heart of the Kamba community, Machakos District, which is one of the driest regions in Kenya. The moment I became aware of my surroundings, the fact that water is always in short supply did not need to be spelled out. A balanced diet - essential in normal development in children - is extremely rare. Malnutrition diseases such as Marasmus and Kwashiorkor are common in the community.

The droughts and famines are especially brutal and some even last for years. People resort to unorthodox ways to get food, feed on any animal that walks or crawls and generally prod and look everywhere in a bid to feed their families and survive the famine. Ironically another is never far away. It's a rat race.

I learnt the nature of nutrient deficiency diseases and how they could be prevented and cured in elementary school. I also got to know how the irregular rainfall patterns could be somewhat controlled and their frequency increased by planting trees. That is one of the major reasons that I hold education in such high regard - the ability to alleviate human suffering and improve the human condition if used appropriately.

These issues are very important to me as I've experienced them for periods of my life. When I went to high school, I had the chance to be in the midst of equally brilliant students who were from different areas of the country. Many of my fellow students came from equally adverse areas as I came from. I got to know how they made use of Mother Nature to solve problems facing them. They dug boreholes, used manure to grow food and voted in good leaders who appropriated funds availed to them wisely unlike many of our local leaders.

That got me thinking on what could be done to improve conditions back home. It occurred to me that a lot had to be done. Information should be passed out to the people - stop taking bribes to vote for corrupt leaders, it keeps the vicious cycle going. Measures to curb and reverse desertification have to be taken to nourish the water system in the region. All this has to begin at the grassroots level and planting ideas on young minds. That is why after I graduated from high school I began teaching students at a new local high school which had inadequate teachers. I managed to mobilize quite a number of them to begin planting trees and to take up assignments where they would spread information about desertification and how to combat it by word of mouth to family and friends. I had hoped that it would have an avalanche effect. Although it was moderately successful , but it galvanized me to seek to change the face of the region in whatever way I could. One thing I know for sure, to improve the situation, awareness and initiative is the key.

491 words