Undergraduate / Family's impact on my education/ Common App [5]

i got like an hour to submit my stuff. i already posted a bigger first essay that if you would not mind looking at too, could help me grately.

it is hard doing one in only 250 words but this is what i came up with. i dont know how to change the ending without going over 250 words

Briefly discuss how your family, school, neighborhood, and background have impacted your educational goals and aspirations.

My family has always been strong believers in good education. My father always dreamed of going to collage but never could. Ever since I was little I was told that I was going to go to high school, graduate, go to college and start my career. This goal of achieving higher education has been kept in the family ever since. Now, a few years later, I am about to complete high school and start in collage where I will spend four years dedicating myself to the art of learning to gain knowledge about computer and technology related subjects. This aspiration towards technology is also deeply rooted in my background. As far back as I can remember my brothers were always enraged by advances in technology, whether it be the home PC in the 90s or the growing popularity of the Internet to the public, I have always been awed by great achievements that come in technology. Since then I grew up using and learning the PC, then the internet and once I was older, the cellphone, various software, operating systems and more. These interests lead me to try to create a few things of my own like developing a video game when I was only in seventh grade, not great but I managed to do it, and more recently learning the components of a pc while building one myself. I am always surrounded with technology, by using it and even selling it at my job in Best Buy.

Undergraduate / I come from a diverse background; U Colorado/ How you enrich Colorado community? [4]

Please tell me what you think im doing everything last second because im stupid like that so i need some responses asap

here it is

The University of Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live. Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community and what are your hopes for your college experience?

Diversity is something that has always been in my life. I was born into a family that lived and worked in Mexico. Spanish was my first language and from the very beginning I was thrown into the Mexican culture and society. I remember attending school for the first few grade school years. Life was good. Little did I know that I would only be spending nine years of my life there.

My dad had been struggling for work for some time and when harsh economic times hit Mexico, my dad was laid off the job he had worked at for the past 20 years. We were forced to move to a unknown country to seek out better financial opportunities and better standards of living as opposed to those which I had accustomed myself to my whole life.

I struggled for about 2 years to learn the new ways to do things, how everything worked in this new strange place and how different the school system was. Naturally my biggest struggle was the language but I managed to pick it up at a good rate, my 5th grade year brought with it the challenge of a poetry contest which I decided to take part of and dedicate myself to winning. To my, surprise my poem was the winner in the school. I was in shock that I could accomplish something like this not knowing English very well.

After winning best poem at my school I had to present it to six judges from the school district that would evaluate it and compare it against other students from other schools that had also won. Again my poem was selected as the best from among many. Not only had I won at school but I had won at district as well, and the reward? 5,000 dollars to my elementary home school and a chance to read my poem out loud to a convention of 700 people and meet the superintendent of the school district.

This shows how diversity has been in my life, the fact that my roots expand to a whole other culture and language along with what I have learned living here has made me become a better overall person. I believe that I bring a mixture of multiple cultures, knowledge, and ideas that I have gathered to CU Boulder, I strongly believe that because of this I could help create a more diverse community there.

My hopes for collage are simple, dedicate myself to what I love,keep on the path to learning more about technology, communications, networking, and eventually majoring with a degree in computer science. I also hope to meet more people that I could relate to and share my ideas with. I strongly believe that if I dedicate myself to something, just like I did years ago with the contest, I could accomplish it. My whole life and dreams are ahead of me, but it all starts out with a good education.