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Posts by rlaguswjd89
Joined: Feb 10, 2009
Last Post: Feb 10, 2009
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Posts: 2  
From: United states

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rlaguswjd89   
Feb 10, 2009
Undergraduate / 'level of programming' - Personal essay for transfer admission to the University of Pittsburgh [4]

I agree with the other post. This is good essay, but you need to explain more. I feel like you are connecting with readers about your point of view, but need more explanations.

CCAC needs to be provide with full name like College College Associate College (CCAC).
It is not possible for readers to know about that college.

If accepted to the University of Pittsburgh- this phrase does not sound professional to me.
With the acceptance to University of Pittsburgh might be better.
And, why don't you write a bit more why do you think that you are good candidate to get into the program?
rlaguswjd89   
Feb 10, 2009
Undergraduate / Background, interests, personal and professional accomplishments [5]

I LOVE YOUR ESSAY. I WISH THAT I COULD WRITE LIKE YOU.
I like the fact that the essay is talking about you. Some people tend to talk about their essay as general focus, but you have good focus here. I think that you need to do a good job of summarizing your point and claiming your reasons clearly in the conclusion.
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