lilylee34
Mar 31, 2009
Writing Feedback / Description Movie-Secret essay [2]
Can any one help me to peer?
JJay is a student of piano of music, who transfers to Tamkang Secondary School. He is very handsome, quiet and pretty good at piano. This school is famous for musically talented students. Jay lives with his father who is a Tamkang music teacher that wears glasses, a beard look, and looks like a serious person. The actress who is called Rain Lu has cute dimples when she smiles, clean short hair, and skin that looks pale. It has a lot of beautiful songs and a surprising ending. But the most exciting and thrilling part of "Secret" is when Jay tries to figure out who Rain is.
The whole story start on the first day of school, as he wanders in the practice room for the piano that will be destroy at the end of semester, he hears a mysterious melody and a little grief which he had never heard before. He follows the melody, then he saw Rain. And Rain gave a smile for him. Suddenly, the bell rangs, and Jay went back to his classroom, and saw Rain was his classmate in the seat behinds him. After school, Jay asks Rain about the song that she was playing, and she slowly walked to Jay's ear and said," This is a secret that cannot be told." It makes Jay feel so much interest into her. Rain usually did not go to school, and Rain told him, she has Asthma. Rain has no friend and Jay feels a lot of curiosity for her, and they became good friends. One day, Jay invites Rain to go to homecoming dance, there are a lot of students. They have to wear uniform, and very loud rock band is his best friend. In there, Jay and Rain have a lot of fun. Another day, Jay rides a bicycle to give Rain a ride. On the way, they go to a park. Rain said, "Do you know the stair from practice room is 74 steps from the classroom? And I am so glad to meet you, we can meet each other, it is very lucky." The sunset was pretty, Jay suddenly kissed a Rain and said" I love you, since we first met". After that, they went to Jay home and practice the piano. One day, Rain said," Do you want learn the song when we first met". Rain played fast at the song, and said," when I go back, I always play that fast. By the way, don't play this song on the practice rooms, because that piano is old." The melody still feels grief and makes people want to cry.
After few weeks that Rain is absent, Jay has other friend who is called Qiyi, who is a nice person, has long black straight hair, is pretty, and sits in front of Rain in the class. Qiyi loves Jay, but Jay does not know that. One day, Rain finally comes to school and Jay writes the letter for Rain, the content is" see you on the practice room by 6 pm", Jay said to the people." Gave the letter to that person sits at the end of table." On the 6pm, Jay hears a steps voice, and he closes his eye as he points to his mouth, and tries to get Rain to give him a kiss . It feels romantic, but when he opens his the eye, he is so shocked because he saw the person who kissed him is Qiyi. At the same time, Rain saw it, and she ran and Jay also ran fast, but he didn't see Rain. After this happened, she never came to school again. On the last day of semester, Jay saw Rain in the class. Jay is excited and misses her, but feels Rain has become paler and looks unhappy. In the moment, Qiyi comes to the piano room, and wants to Jay to go to principal room, so he tells Rain to stay here and wait, he will come soon. When Jay comes back, he just saw his best friend in the class, "Did you see a girl who danced with me on the homecoming?"His best friend feels weird and said, "You never dance with any girls. At the homecoming dance you danced by yourself all the time". When the best friend leaves the class, the school feels quiet. Jay sits on the back chair alone which was Rain sat. All of the things are very weird- is she a ghost? Suddenly, the table has some words appear slowly: "I am Rain, I love you, do you love me?"Jay is scared and shocked to leave the chair, but after a few minutes, he found the pen, and wrote "I Love You."But the Rain did not continue to write.
When he goes home he still looks shocked,he thinks: " Is she in school? And why can I see her?" And later he asks his father, "Dad, do you know a person who is called Rain?" His Dad is shocked and stares at him, "why do you know her? " Jay does not respond to his question. And his dad began to tell Rain's story. In the 1979 years, she was my student. She was studious, but someday she began to not pay attention to school, and Jay's father to asked her what happened. She had no expression and did not say anything. After a few minutes, she was scare and said, "Please believe me. "She said, "One day, I found a book that write' Follow the notes upon a journey, At first sight marks one's destiny ,Once the voyage comes to an end ,Return lies within hasty keys' "and when I play the song I going to after 20 years, and I meet a guy, and I love him "when Jay's father heard that, he didn't say anything. When he went to classroom, he told a classmate everything, and try to take good care of her. But the classmate thinks he is crazy, and everyone laugh her and no one wants to talk to her. After that she never went to school. Untill one day, at end of semester, Jay's father wants Rain to go to school to take pictures with classmates, but no one wants to talk to her or even take pictures with her, and she goes to practice room. When we saw her, she was dying from asthma and in her right hand, she have a pen from the classroom.
Jay realizes what is going on, and runs to practice room, because end of semester, the practice room will be destroyed. The movie began very to be nerve-wracking. He goes to practice room, but no one knows he is there and people starts to destroy the room. When he begans to play the piano the stone began to bump the practice room. So he is almost killed, but Jay plays the piano very fast,after all he goes back to 20 year earlier. Rain has not met Jay before. At the last screen, they all take a picture in 1979 and everyone feel kind and happy.
Can any one help me to peer?
JJay is a student of piano of music, who transfers to Tamkang Secondary School. He is very handsome, quiet and pretty good at piano. This school is famous for musically talented students. Jay lives with his father who is a Tamkang music teacher that wears glasses, a beard look, and looks like a serious person. The actress who is called Rain Lu has cute dimples when she smiles, clean short hair, and skin that looks pale. It has a lot of beautiful songs and a surprising ending. But the most exciting and thrilling part of "Secret" is when Jay tries to figure out who Rain is.
The whole story start on the first day of school, as he wanders in the practice room for the piano that will be destroy at the end of semester, he hears a mysterious melody and a little grief which he had never heard before. He follows the melody, then he saw Rain. And Rain gave a smile for him. Suddenly, the bell rangs, and Jay went back to his classroom, and saw Rain was his classmate in the seat behinds him. After school, Jay asks Rain about the song that she was playing, and she slowly walked to Jay's ear and said," This is a secret that cannot be told." It makes Jay feel so much interest into her. Rain usually did not go to school, and Rain told him, she has Asthma. Rain has no friend and Jay feels a lot of curiosity for her, and they became good friends. One day, Jay invites Rain to go to homecoming dance, there are a lot of students. They have to wear uniform, and very loud rock band is his best friend. In there, Jay and Rain have a lot of fun. Another day, Jay rides a bicycle to give Rain a ride. On the way, they go to a park. Rain said, "Do you know the stair from practice room is 74 steps from the classroom? And I am so glad to meet you, we can meet each other, it is very lucky." The sunset was pretty, Jay suddenly kissed a Rain and said" I love you, since we first met". After that, they went to Jay home and practice the piano. One day, Rain said," Do you want learn the song when we first met". Rain played fast at the song, and said," when I go back, I always play that fast. By the way, don't play this song on the practice rooms, because that piano is old." The melody still feels grief and makes people want to cry.
After few weeks that Rain is absent, Jay has other friend who is called Qiyi, who is a nice person, has long black straight hair, is pretty, and sits in front of Rain in the class. Qiyi loves Jay, but Jay does not know that. One day, Rain finally comes to school and Jay writes the letter for Rain, the content is" see you on the practice room by 6 pm", Jay said to the people." Gave the letter to that person sits at the end of table." On the 6pm, Jay hears a steps voice, and he closes his eye as he points to his mouth, and tries to get Rain to give him a kiss . It feels romantic, but when he opens his the eye, he is so shocked because he saw the person who kissed him is Qiyi. At the same time, Rain saw it, and she ran and Jay also ran fast, but he didn't see Rain. After this happened, she never came to school again. On the last day of semester, Jay saw Rain in the class. Jay is excited and misses her, but feels Rain has become paler and looks unhappy. In the moment, Qiyi comes to the piano room, and wants to Jay to go to principal room, so he tells Rain to stay here and wait, he will come soon. When Jay comes back, he just saw his best friend in the class, "Did you see a girl who danced with me on the homecoming?"His best friend feels weird and said, "You never dance with any girls. At the homecoming dance you danced by yourself all the time". When the best friend leaves the class, the school feels quiet. Jay sits on the back chair alone which was Rain sat. All of the things are very weird- is she a ghost? Suddenly, the table has some words appear slowly: "I am Rain, I love you, do you love me?"Jay is scared and shocked to leave the chair, but after a few minutes, he found the pen, and wrote "I Love You."But the Rain did not continue to write.
When he goes home he still looks shocked,he thinks: " Is she in school? And why can I see her?" And later he asks his father, "Dad, do you know a person who is called Rain?" His Dad is shocked and stares at him, "why do you know her? " Jay does not respond to his question. And his dad began to tell Rain's story. In the 1979 years, she was my student. She was studious, but someday she began to not pay attention to school, and Jay's father to asked her what happened. She had no expression and did not say anything. After a few minutes, she was scare and said, "Please believe me. "She said, "One day, I found a book that write' Follow the notes upon a journey, At first sight marks one's destiny ,Once the voyage comes to an end ,Return lies within hasty keys' "and when I play the song I going to after 20 years, and I meet a guy, and I love him "when Jay's father heard that, he didn't say anything. When he went to classroom, he told a classmate everything, and try to take good care of her. But the classmate thinks he is crazy, and everyone laugh her and no one wants to talk to her. After that she never went to school. Untill one day, at end of semester, Jay's father wants Rain to go to school to take pictures with classmates, but no one wants to talk to her or even take pictures with her, and she goes to practice room. When we saw her, she was dying from asthma and in her right hand, she have a pen from the classroom.
Jay realizes what is going on, and runs to practice room, because end of semester, the practice room will be destroyed. The movie began very to be nerve-wracking. He goes to practice room, but no one knows he is there and people starts to destroy the room. When he begans to play the piano the stone began to bump the practice room. So he is almost killed, but Jay plays the piano very fast,after all he goes back to 20 year earlier. Rain has not met Jay before. At the last screen, they all take a picture in 1979 and everyone feel kind and happy.
