Undergraduate / "Zealous, Athletic, Cool..." ; Yale Supp [3]

Hey, pretty essay yourself! I would write about how the thought of the observations of other changed you though. Maybe even talk about some parts of yourself that you don't like or consider.

Undergraduate / "My Escape"; Common App; The Experience of failing and how I changed! [5]

The essay is great in terms that it is personal and unique just to you. However, I think it takes a tiny bit too long to get to your point. You should maybe take away some (but not a lot because its great) imagery away and talk more about how it has changed you. Overall very good, and it is pretty deep cause of the personal stuff.