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Posts by xcrunner095
Joined: Dec 26, 2012
Last Post: Dec 27, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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xcrunner095   
Dec 27, 2012
Undergraduate / New York/ Oprah Winfrey ; Syracuse Supp/ Who or what influend applying? [5]

"I wanted my small town environment to immerse in a fast paced city." I don't feel like "immerse" is the right word here. Do you want to change from a small environment to fast paced city?

I really like your response to #2 and 3.

#4: comma in between University and I

Overall I think you did a pretty good job.

If you could comment on mine too I would greatly appreciate it!
xcrunner095   
Dec 27, 2012
Undergraduate / White lab coats; CORNELL SUP/ How your interests influenced your major? [7]

"I remember devouring my older cousin's science textbooks with such enthusiasm as if I was reading Harry Potter" sounds awkward. I would say try to reword it or split it up into two different sentences.

Overall I really like it but isn't the limit supposed to be about 500 words? Perhaps you could trim it down a little.
xcrunner095   
Dec 26, 2012
Undergraduate / Math and science/ Parents' nursing career; Cornell Sup; Interests/ experience [5]

Prompt: : How have your interests and related experiences influenced the major you have selected in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences?

It's not easy planning one's future. Uncertainty seems to be everywhere, and it's an arduous task trying to figure out what to do with the next four years of my life. However, that daunting journey can be made a little easier when one has a goal shining at the end of the tunnel. For me, that goal is becoming a doctor. That goal has greatly influenced me to seek a major in biological sciences.

My dream of becoming a doctor didn't materialize from a single source. It wasn't because I had a life changing experience that greatly influenced my entire outlook on life. It's not like I woke up one morning and said to myself, "I'm going to have a bowl of oatmeal and then embark on the long road to medical school." Contrarily, my decision was influenced by both external and internal sources.

I have always been fascinated with math and science. The logic of math and the "real world" application of science go hand in hand, at least in my mind. From dissecting a frog to learning about limits, I always look forward to my science and math classes. Add to that, my experiences in activities such as cross country and the spring musical have taught me what the end result can be with that ever important word: teamwork. Yet, there are a myriad of professions that one could chose that involve science, math, and group participation. Why a doctor out of all of these choices?

Along with that passion, my personal experiences have greatly influenced my decision. I have heard countless stories from my parents about the events in their careers as nurses. For some reason, they always seem to be told while the family was enjoying dinner. When I was younger, the stories of surgeons removing external parts of the body and "digging" in various places instantly made me lose my appetite. As time went on, however, I became fascinated with my parents' stories, especially when they weren't said around the dinner table. I couldn't believe some of the things a doctor could do. A person could suffer a severe heart attack, be an inch away from death, and be brought back to life by the hands of a doctor.

It is one thing to fantasize about becoming a doctor, but it is another to act upon that dream. Even if I end up changing career paths and decide against medical school, the education I will receive will be priceless because science impacts every aspect of one's life. By majoring in biological sciences, I will be able to finally take that first step into the great unknown that is my future, and I couldn't be more excited.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!!
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