lm24601
Dec 27, 2012
Undergraduate / My past connections to places; Bowdoin / Interests and experiences [4]
I corrected some grammar mistakes and added things to the paragraph.
New Version:
The past three years of my high school years were spent at a small school in Sun Valley, California. This beautiful campus is quietly nestles at the foot of the hills. The close community and the faculty have greatly affected my education. I really enjoyed having small classes where discussions were freely held. Even though the school was very small, it offered various opportunities to pursue my interests in sports and the arts. The community has encouraged me to keep on working, and the close friendships that I cultivated have given me joy. As I have lived in 3 different countries outside of the United States, I have learned that new locations connect me to different people and cultures. While I lived in Africa, I learned to continually challenge myself by eating new food like Mmopane worms or learning a new language. My past connections to places have helped me to take on the challenge of creating new connections. I think Bowdoin can offer the similar opportunities like my high school, and possibly even more. I want to challenge myself and move to the opposite coast to Maine where it is not always sunny like southern California. By moving to Bowdoin, I believe I can create new connections and become involved in a new community where I can pursue my academic interests. Also being a historical liberal arts college with great traditions and literary alumni, Bowdoin will be a great location to study history, a great interest of mine.
I corrected some grammar mistakes and added things to the paragraph.
New Version:
The past three years of my high school years were spent at a small school in Sun Valley, California. This beautiful campus is quietly nestles at the foot of the hills. The close community and the faculty have greatly affected my education. I really enjoyed having small classes where discussions were freely held. Even though the school was very small, it offered various opportunities to pursue my interests in sports and the arts. The community has encouraged me to keep on working, and the close friendships that I cultivated have given me joy. As I have lived in 3 different countries outside of the United States, I have learned that new locations connect me to different people and cultures. While I lived in Africa, I learned to continually challenge myself by eating new food like Mmopane worms or learning a new language. My past connections to places have helped me to take on the challenge of creating new connections. I think Bowdoin can offer the similar opportunities like my high school, and possibly even more. I want to challenge myself and move to the opposite coast to Maine where it is not always sunny like southern California. By moving to Bowdoin, I believe I can create new connections and become involved in a new community where I can pursue my academic interests. Also being a historical liberal arts college with great traditions and literary alumni, Bowdoin will be a great location to study history, a great interest of mine.