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Posts by cez
Joined: Dec 29, 2012
Last Post: Jan 10, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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cez   
Jan 10, 2013
Graduate / Obtaining a research position - Speech-language Pathology Graduate School Personal Essay [2]

"During my time as a hearing impaired paraprofessional, I have come across a." a comma before "I"
"From day to day a student's receiver may not sync with their transmitter, however, something as easy as switching receivers can do the trick. - "not sure of the purpose of this sentence. Your paragraph is more cohesive without it.

"Part of my time during the school day is spent doing speech therapy with students that have cochlear implants. "- be careful saying that you do "speech therapy". I said something like that in my first draft and a prof told me to take it out. Unless you are a speech therapist/pathologist you don't provide therapy. Maybe say "coaching"

I believe these hands-on experiences will enrich my education in graduate school as I will be able to apply real life situations to the subject matter I will be studying. a bit to wordy/redundant. This sentence sound like two similar sentences joined by the word "as".

Nice conclusion. You've definitely researched the school.

You've got a lot of great experience!!! Just condense the first couple of paragraphs. Good Luck.
cez   
Jan 10, 2013
Graduate / Parkinson's disease; Speech Pathology SOP [2]

"How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Weren't you paying attention?"

"Why didn't you ask for clarity?"

"I didn't exactly say it, but I gave him that look."

I heard these statements on a regular basis in the beginning of my 20 years in corporate America. As a human resources professional who was trained to view employee relations objectively, I recognized that these phrases were usually not prompted by incompetence or insubordination; instead, they indicated simple miscommunication. Gradually during my career, I discovered that these statements sometimes signaled more significant issues. The issues reflected an important need in the workplace that would prompt me to transition from a career as a human resources manager to a career as a speech - language pathologist.

As a human resources manager, I regularly trained company employees on ways to communicate more effectively. Using information I had acquired from books such as Power Phrases, Lifescripts, and How to Win Friends and Influence People, I conducted interactive training sessions that provided solutions to common communication issues such as turning down requests or giving feedback. Usually after each training session, an employee would ask privately about more personal dilemmas such as, "How do I tell my co-worker to turn his music down?" I received a great deal of satisfaction from knowing that my training seminars helped improve the climate of the workplace. Eager to reach a wider audience, I became an independent training consultant. For six years, I traveled around the country conducting seminars on over 20 business and communication related topics such as Communication for Women, Conflict Management Skills, and Dealing with Difficult Employees.

While conducting seminars across the country, I discovered that participants' concerns were changing and the private questions at the end of the seminars were becoming increasingly more sensitive in nature. For example, participants were asking:

"How do I tell my co-workers that my blank stare is due to my Parkinson's disease?"

"I have a co-worker who is hearing impaired. How do I tell him he is talking too loudly?"

"What is the correct way to give instructions to my team member with autism?"

These questions regarding communication disorders were surprisingly common and yet, because of personal and legal concerns, they were sometimes left unanswered for years. This lack of resolution resulted in corporate environments filled with uncomfortable avoidance, isolation, and resentment. This is when I realized that inclusive business communication requires an awareness of physical, emotional, and neurological differences.

In order to gain this awareness and provide solutions for these companies, I sought formal training in the area of communication disorders. I enrolled in undergraduate classes at Governors State University with the intention of obtaining information that I could share with my clients. To my surprise, I learned that the misunderstanding and isolation I witnessed was not exclusive to the workplace - the workplace simply reflected what people with communication disorders experienced in society at large. Whether the condition is neurological, such as dysarthria, or physical, such as a cleft palate, a communication disorder separates a person from the rest of society unless there is comprehensive intervention.

I would like to become a speech - language pathologist so that I can treat the current population of people with communication disorders. I also want to help prepare society for the changes that will occur in the near future, such as the rising number of people with autism. Not only will this population require dedicated speech - language pathologists to assist them with communication issues but their friends, family, and co-workers will need to learn the most effective ways of communicating with them. There are similar concerns for the growing number of young stroke victims and military personnel with traumatic brain injuries who are returning to civilian life.

My background in training and development will be a definite asset as a speech - language pathologist. As a trainer, I have knowledge of different learning styles and the capacity to present difficult concepts easily. My background in theatre will also be an asset. For the past 25 years, I have taken advanced level acting classes in various schools, including the British American Drama Academy in Oxford, England where I learned valuable vocal techniques, such as Fitzmaurice Voicework and the Alexander Technique.

I am eager to combine my background with a Master of Health Science degree in Communication Disorders from ....University. Ever since my first class at ..., I have been impressed by the real world experience of the professors and their ability to make potentially abstract concepts practical. I would like to learn about all aspects of communication disorders, but I am especially interested in adult language and cognitive disorders. I hope you will give me the opportunity to receive a higher education at ....University, so that I may gain the knowledge and skills necessary to assist people with communication disorders and increase society's awareness of that population.
cez   
Jan 6, 2013
Graduate / Awareness building/ Ludden Speech and Language Clinic ; Speech Pathology PS [2]

Great essay. You seem smart and you have a lot of applicable experience. You should have no problem getting accepted into a school.

I saw a few technical writings errors:
I think there should be hyphens in "13 year old student"

"I collaborated with the special education team, general education teachers and parents to establish an optimal individual educational plan. In my interaction with these children"

You have a few sentences in the passive voice. Unless this is your intentional writing style, consider using the active voice - it will make sound more assertive. I'm a chronic "passive voicer", so today I rewrote my essay to eliminate a few of the passive sentences.

I don't know about the final sentence - it sounds a bit "by the way" - ish. I would mention the alumni connection but earlier in the paragraph and make it pertain to your decision to choose the school. Perhaps, say how your mother made you aware of the great program, etc. then talk about the school a bit.

Are you applying to SXU? I am. Good luck! Keep me posted.
cez   
Jan 2, 2013
Graduate / SOP for Speech-Language Pathology Graduate School Applications [3]

Hi! You sound like a hard worker. That will be a definite advantage.

Since you are talking about your academic journey, I would put it in chronological order (i.e. - put your childhood interest in languages before the paragraph about working through college)

Although the info about your family's financial status is interesting, it doesn't enhance your essay. As a matter of fact, it distracts from your essay. You could perhaps condense the info For explain "I've always had a strong work ethic; I worked two jobs while at Purdue..."

Purdue is a great school!! Good luck!
cez   
Jan 2, 2013
Undergraduate / Android apps / Computers / OS / PolyThinker - Polytechnic Institute of NY University [4]

WOW! You sound like a dynamo! Your enthusiasm for the profession and the school is apparent. Make sure your enthusiasm doesn't mask your professionalism.

"I have already read some of his books and they totally amazed me." "I am totally in love with computer science. I spend a lot of time coding..."

The words "totally" and "a lot of" are not bad choices but they sound a little colloquial. Is that your intention?

(The ) Chances are high for me to find like-minded people and make them my friends and hopefully collaborate with them in the future.
Besides of thatIn addition , it fulfills all location aspects I have set to myself: near the east coast and in a large city.

Good luck! I'm sure I'll be reading about you in the future!
cez   
Jan 2, 2013
Graduate / Express self with words; SOP for Speech Pathology Grad School [3]

You've got a lot of great infomation in this essay. Every sentence is precise and meaningful. I would perhaps rearrange a few sentences for a better flow.

"one where an individual is not able to express simple wants and needs. I was one of those people until I was eleven years old."

The wording and placement of these sentences makes it seem as if you were not able to express your wants and needs until you were eleven.

"Due to my interests in speech pathology, I was able to tour a speech and hearing clinic at Mississippi University for Women before beginning my college career. It was then when I knew I wanted to forego to be a speech pathologist."

This passage seems a little out of place in the first paragraph. I would put it in the second paragraph.

"I have always wanted to work with children, and learning more about speech pathology confirmed that fact.
My curiosity in Speech and Language Pathology led me to volunteer at The DuBard School for Language Disorders starting the spring of 2011."
I would connect these two statement for a better flow. Perhaps "Learning more about Speech pathology also reinforced my interest in children. As a result I volunteered at..."

Good Luck! My family is from Mississippi!!!
cez   
Jan 2, 2013
Graduate / HR Manager; Speech Pathology PS/ Education/ Experience/ Career objectives [3]

A personal essay is intended to give you the opportunity to submit a narrative describing your past education, experience, and current professional career objectives. Specifically, you should focus on (1) why you want a career in speech-language pathology, (2) what academic and personal qualities you would bring to a graduate program, citing evidence if it exists, and (3) noteworthy activities and accomplishments.

"How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Weren't you paying attention?"

"Why didn't you ask for clarity?"

"I didn't exactly say it, but I gave him that look."

These are statements I heard on a regular basis in the beginning of my 20 years in corporate America. As a human resources professional who was trained to view employee relations objectively, I recognized that these phrases were usually not prompted by incompetence or insubordination; instead, they indicated miscommunication that I was tasked to resolved. Gradually during my career, I discovered that these statements often signaled more significant issues. These issues reflected a great change in the workforce that would fuel my desire to transition from a career as human resources manager to a career as a speech - language pathologist.

As a human resources manager, I regularly trained company employees on ways to communicate more effectively. Using information I had acquired from books such as Power Phrases, Lifescripts, and How to Win Friends and Influence People, I facilitated interactive training sessions that provided solutions to common communication issues such as turning down requests or giving feedback. Usually after each training session, an employee would privately ask about more specific dilemmas such as, "How do I tell my co-worker to turn his music down?" I received a great deal of satisfaction from knowing that my training seminars helped improve the climate of the workplace. Eager to reach a wider audience, I became an independent training consultant. For six years, I traveled around the country facilitating seminars on over 20 business and communication related topics such as Communication for Women, Conflict Management Skills, and Dealing with Difficult Employees.

While I was traveling, I discovered that my seminar participants' concerns were changing and the private questions at the end of the seminar were becoming increasingly more sensitive in nature. For example, I was being asked:

"How do I tell my co-workers that my blank stare is due to my Parkinson's disease?"

"I have a co-worker who is hearing impaired. How do I tell him he is talking too loudly?"

"What is the correct way to give instructions to my team member with autism?"

These questions regarding communication disorders were surprisingly common and yet, because of personal and legal concerns, they had sometimes been left unanswered for years. This lack of resolution resulted in corporate environments filled with uncomfortable avoidance, isolation, and resentment. These situations made me realize that true communication required an awareness of physical, emotional, and neurological differences.

In order to provide solutions for these companies, I sought more formal training in the area of communication disorders. I enrolled in undergraduate classes at ... University with the intention of obtaining the tools to make receptive and expressive communication effective for everyone. It was in these classes that I became aware of other astonishing changes that will occur in the workplace. According to the nonprofit organization, Autism Speaks, by 2022, more than 500,000 young people with autism will turn 18 and many will be looking for employment. Not only will this population need comprehensive vocational training but their employers and co-workers will need to learn the most effective ways of communicating with them. There will be similar needs for the growing number of young stroke survivors and people with other neurological conditions, such as dyslexia and dyspraxia.

I am eager to help corporate America deal with this neurodiversity by expanding my knowledge with graduate studies at .... University. The university is located within a medical center with access to excellent researchers such as Dr. .... Dr. ...'s research on the use of altered auditory feedback for patients with Parkinson's disease and the great possibilities for other people with speech disorders was fascinating and inspirational.

I am excited about combining a master of science degree in speech-language pathology with my training and development background. This would allow me to assist adults who have communication disorders that significantly interfere with their day to day functions and at the same time educate corporations on the needs of that population. I hope that you will give me the opportunity of receiving a higher education at ... so that I may achieve this ambition.
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