Undergraduate / New sense of bipartisanship/Ten things ; Stanford; Intellectual Vitality/Roommate [4]

I think its all pretty good and funny. With your roommate letter, elaborate on number 9 just a tad.

Undergraduate / Shining computer parts / Greenhouse Club / Brown sup; Short answers [12]

About your revision - You have a lot of awkward passive voice. Try this instead:
structure changed: My ideal job is looking at the trending of economy and analyzing it with an intricate computer software,

Since I have a strong interest in computer science and economics, learning in Brown Curriculum will allow me to integrate a variety of knowledge into a comprehensive program that satisfy my needs.

While I could immersing myself in learning computer science, I couldwill? also build economic analysis software or modelling software to enhance my interest in economics.

With this libertyfreedom in my education, I can cultivate stronger independence and responsibility in my education and prepare myself to face challenges in my future.

Undergraduate / I'm different form my Mom; Significant influence (Person) [6]

We are extremely different people, and consequently we do not see eye to eye on practically anythingmany things .

Although, while I do not agree with many of her opinions or her stances on political issues, I do try to emulate what I consider to be her best qualities, her selflessness and her unconditional love.

- What's in bold sounds a bit redundant

Many of your sentences in paragraph 2 and even the entire essay begin with "I". Try varying your sentence structure.

Think about what message this sends to your college. Basically what I'm getting is you love your mother and you cant bear to leave. Meaning you're a very dependent person. Colleges usually want to see independence, no?

With that said, its pretty well written. I'm just a very harsh reviewer.

Help me please: essayforum.com/undergraduate-essays-2/upenn-jerome-fisher-mt-program-e ssay-eng-business-help-46916/