Undergraduate / LAST DAY AT HIGH SCHOOL; KENYON SUPP [4]

QUESTION: If you could, what would you do over? (2500 characters)

Hi everyone plz comment on my essay (grammar, clarity, anything). Much appreciated!

It was a normal day. I reached my school's tiny gate at five thirty as usual, embracing the last chilly breeze of the night as it faded away amid the prominent dawn. There was a familiar fragrance wafting with welcoming warmth that excited my appetite, and soon I was seated on a little stool, enjoying my steamy bowl of fresh pork noodles at the cozy little breakfast stand nearby. Within minutes morning commenced; people started to appear; students dotted the street which seemed vacant just moments ago. Within minutes life was in full swing, my breakfast finished, and Monday began ironically as my last day of high school.

Monday meant ten classes, some surprising, as my teachers loved to put it, tests, and traffic jam at the evening rush hour. Despite this, everything disobeyed their scheduled course. An uneasy silence reigned throughout the hours. The only discourse that took place was the exchange of future wishes and reunion promises. Even when breaks came loquacity gave way to calm and reflection, and the often boisterous atmosphere, with its chaotic blend of jokes and gossips, now resembled that of a therapy class. It was one of those moments in life when you realized that technology and geographical closeness meant nothing to a parting party. Time flied, and within a blink of an eye dusk was visible in the horizon, yet soon its visibility would disappear. Our classroom had already been transformed into a farewell dinner, during which nothing significant happened save some unexpected weeping from the boys. Sharing the last embrace, we realized that "Monday was finally coming to an end" , a sentence we had always whispered happily to each other for the last three years, and yet now that very sentence, though unspoken, brought about a sadness equaling to all the joy it ever created. Within minutes the tiny gate was closed, the street vacant, and everyone expelled from school.

Now my Mondays come with new expectations and locations, yet every time the last chilly breeze of the night comes passing at dawn, I always wish to be enjoying my noodles breakfast, ready to start that old Monday again.

Undergraduate / like old Alexander to America; HAMILTON/ WHY? [2]

I know this approach doesnt seem right, hope you guys can lend me a hand! Criticism would be much appreciated.

Please Describe Your Reasons for Applying to Hamilton: (3000 characters)

When I read novels, Jane Eyre for example, I become curious about everything from the language, the plot to petty details like Jane's measurements. When I study literature, it makes me crave for religion, politics, psychology, etc. In other words, literature is like an elaborate teaser, one that entices the mind to be greedy. So, what place is there to feed my intellectual avarice better than a liberal arts college, and what college's curriculum is more generous than Hamilton's? I say "None", and I want my stellar buffet whose cooks are among the best of the country.

Nevertheless if one grasps all, one loses all. So, among the various courses I could choose, I choose English as the main one; and among the various exciting experiences are there, I choose Hamilton's to desire. This run of logic mirrors my way of life: passion first. Hamilton emphasizes English and writing with utmost dedication; my spirit senses its call and it follows. Such was the story of my decision, yet there is more, there is the story of hope.

I sometimes imagine what would become of me if I was accepted. Would I fit in and repay Hamilton faithfully? My musing soon reminds me the relationship between old Alexander and America. Had it not been for his brilliant scheme, America would not have stabilized and thrived. Likewise, if America was not the right nation, Hamilton's plan might never work. I believe I am right for Hamilton; I believe and I write:

I say Hamilton is to me
like old Alexander to America
That weak and loose now I be
Four years and mind shall sharper
Four years and eyes shall clearer
Four years and sense shall keener
Four years and all shall alter
like old Alexander to America
I say Hamilton is to me

Undergraduate / Computer game/ Common App; Significant Experience [4]

Hello guys, when i read all the prompts in the website, i am not so sure which one my essay falls into, still wavering between "A significant experience" one and "Topic of your choice". I am open to criticism, and any help would be much appreciated.

Also, just give me the link of your essay if you want my opinion! Best of luck to all!

How computer game means to me.

For many, computer game alludes to a hobby; for me, it teaches and inspires. I've played computer game ever since I knew how to turn on a computer, and so close is our relationship that it shapes my view of the world.

Computer game is dangerous since it produces addicts. In secondary school I was immersed in an online game; I dreamed of it day and night; I invested all of my allowance into it; I never signed up for extracurricular classes; my holidays were mostly spent on internet battles. This addiction, not surprisingly, soon ruined my study and family relationship. However, I did not awake to those harmful consequences until I nearly failed the Highschool entrance exam. My senses were finally alert to the dangerous path I was taking, and they resolutely commanded me to act. What painful experience was rehabilitation! After having sobered for a while, I realized that life consists of two elements: passion and obligation, and it is crucial that one keeps the balance between them. In my case, passion was left unchecked and thus almost destroyed my life in turn.

But why would I be passionate about computer game? I figured out part of the answer in Highschool where I met most of my close friends through playing the same game. In other words, we shared the same passion, and that passion, despite its various origins, created ties of brotherhood we cherished more than the game itself. That said, living in a conservative country like Viet Nam gives me another reason to pursue computer game: it teaches me defiance. Most Vietnamese considers computer game as a type of social evil due to serious effects it has on the youth and, therefore, suggest strict regulations or even a ban on computer game. With the damage I agree because I myself have been a victim, though not one of computer game, but one of weak judgment. You can't blame cocaine for its existence, you can't only blame factors leading to its addiction, and the same applies to computer game. For me, playing means more than having a good time with my friends, it demonstrates the will and power of an individual to defy society and its norms.

Throughout my life, computer game has resembled a friend from the start, then to a devil, and now a sage spirit. It has thus provided me with friendship, strengthened my character, and given me the means to defy. Looking back, it is amazing how a simple hobby could come to possess such powerful implications.