Posts by jhakyung195

jhakyung195

Dec 31, 2012

Undergraduate / My love for a life of hustle and bustle; Boston U: Why BU? [6]

BU's as well as other colleges due on the 1st,deadline should be January 1st ar 11:59pm EST. You should check their website just in case. :)

GOOD LUCK!

jhakyung195

Dec 31, 2012

Undergraduate / My love for a life of hustle and bustle; Boston U: Why BU? [6]

I am really iffy about this essay. I feel like I don't explain enough WHY BU would be for me. I feel like I'm coming from a prospective student's brochure. Am i right? CRITIQUE&COMMENTS please

Prompt: In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission?

Time is a fickle concept. And in only months, I would be spending most of it in college, an environment where I had the chance to discover and to mature. Presently, my schedule is one filled with school, clubs, band practices, jobs, a social life...And I love it. A love of hustle and bustle is why Boston University is the place for me. It is a city within a city, a place that prides itself on a united student diversity, new experiences, and worthwhile challenges. The one concept that really appealed to me from BU is the promise to let me experience different perspectives of study rigorously through its Dual Degree programs and Kilachand Honors College. While I aspire to go into the medical field, I want to be a well-rounded person that has had a taste of everything. Partaking in the elite internships and vast study-abroad programs this school offers are other appeals that will allow me to form the priceless connections I need to plan a future of success. BU provides it all: a best of both worlds, a great education, an enlightening environment of friendships and chances, a bustling city, the real world. To be able to jump from a student to scientist to artist to city-dweller in a matter of steps across the campus and out of it. To tackle real world issues with a cohesive, diverse student body. To be surrounded in this sort of environment for 4 accomplished years is all I ask for.

jhakyung195

Dec 31, 2012

Undergraduate / "Satisfied"/ Courage to ask for more ; UVA - "favorite word" [5]

alexzxz

I can still remember that one dinner where I first understood the meaning of the word "satisfied". "That one dinner where" I don't know why but it rubs me the wrong way...that one dinner when? At that time, we had just finished a sumptuous meal of barbequed should be barbecued

My parents were right in a sense: being "satisfied" is the end of the line. Growing up among a community of mostly immigrants and first generation Chinese, I encountered plenty of folks who were clearly dissatisfied by their stations in life, stuck in low-paying manual labor jobs. Yet, despite their complaints, most had never tried to advance their prospects through courses/job training, insteada comma here perhaps? if you reread this sentence all the way, it is a bit confusing at first. write it like you would say it abiding day to day life. From that I understood thatdelete that , while most were unhappy with what they got, they were, in fact, "satisfied" in the sense that they were OK with living an unhappy life. the "in fact" and "in the sense" seem to be a bit redundant. I think you coud shorten this sentence a bit. Readers will understand what you are trying to get at They epitomized Henry David Thoreau's quote, "the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation" love this quote :) . Although my parents had perceived the phrase "satisfied" for its ominous meaning, I formed my own meaning for a lifelong philosophy.

Personally, being satisfied meant that you were fine with how things stood, that you were OK with the status quo. While many you use "many" and "most" quite a bit. Better variety of verbs! might consider that what is that? t to be humble and unselfish, I always saw that again, what is that? as a sign of weakness of those who didn't have the will or courage to ask for more. After all, where would we be if our ancestors were satisfied eating raw, uncooked meat? Where would we be if Columbus never questioned the possibility of a western route to India? Where would I be if my brethren had not fought to tear down the racial discrimination of the Chinese Exclusion Act?

To me, being "satisfied" meant giving up on progress and change. A society that was "satisfied" was stagnant and doomed to die. Until the day I die, I'll never be "satisfied", so that I will always strive for more, for better. "so that" is not necessary if you are using "will" twice. Maybe add a semicolon after satisfied. treat it like two sentences

I really liked your essay! It was well-written and quite insightful. Made me rethink some points of my own philosophy. Just a few tweaks here and there is all that it needs!

jhakyung195

Dec 31, 2012

Undergraduate / A firefighter is as much of a super hero as superman or batman; SUPER HERO [3]

As far as super heroes are concerned, I don't believe that one needs to have super powers. I find this sentence very awkward. I don't know why but it seems very needless. Especially when it should be the HOOK of your essay. I get that you believe superpowers are not needed but then the first phrase should not be necessary

A firefighter is as much of a super hero as superman or batman, superman and batman should be capitalized. even more so in his own right. you may also want to elaborate this sentence. How is a firefighter just as same as our heroically acclaimed men in capes?

If the world has decided to bless a poor soul with super powers there are one of two things that can happen, either that person becomes a super villain or a super hero. If neither does --> there is a bit of a confusion. you are refering to a single person however neither implies there are more than one , the universe should take their super powers back because it's a waste of super juice how? .

However, according to popular belief, the universe protects itself, leaving my devious plans to rewrite history in the dust. So then, I would have to rise to the occasion, if it presents itself, and heroically save the world.I'm not sure I understand this sentence. What are you trying to say? Are you saying that the universe would do its job to foil your plans? How?

Regardless of being a super hero or a super villain, this is real life and in real life, there are no super powers. There are super skilled people, and heroes, but not super powered heroes. However that's just fine, super heroes are escapism.I'm not sure what this means Store the super hero package in a closet somewhere for now. When life gets to be too much let us do as Tolkien and escape into fantasy, into the Marvel Universe, or whatever Tumblr has to offer.

In all honesty, I enjoyed reading your essay. I like the idea and where you are coming from. However, I feel like it might need a bit of work. Elaboration is key. Also, many of your reasons are very generic. I'm not sure which college this essay is for but if I were an admissions person, I would be expecting a bit more. Space/time manipulation, while that is a great power, I'm sure they've seen hundreds of essays where people, especially students, want to have the ability to control time. But what is UNIQUE about YOURS? A little more elaboration, a little more YOU, a little more connections between ideas, and this would be a fantastic essay :)

jhakyung195

Dec 31, 2012

Undergraduate / Lord of the Rings/ Stiff/ Sherlock Homes/ Harry Potter....; UChicago: Favorite books [3]

Thank you so much!

To this day, between eleven in the evening and three in the morning have always been my secret hours. Under the covers, the pages of my open book, illuminated by a sneaky circle of light, were gateways to worlds. For me to see is to read. I have always been that way.I could immerse myself for hours envisioning the nail-biting adventures of the unlikeliest hobbit-heroes in the Lord of the Rings, the real yet unbelievable experiments done with cadavers in Mary Roach's Stiff, the scintillating, analytical investigations of Sir Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, or occasionally indulge myself reuniting with childhood heroes such as that of Harry Potter, Dr.Seuss, and Sydney Carton. All of it, ink on paper that once written, is preserved, forever unchangeable, forever powerful.

Of course, despite my best efforts, my parents would wake up at these late? I'm not sure what other adjective to put here hours, search for the telltale shine of mischief under the doorgap and unexpectedly barge in to wrest my latest inquisition and the possible fire-hazard in the flashlight from my hands under the sheets. However, the scoldings and the sudden raids did nothing to damp my young, stubborn spirit. If unsafe in my own bed, I had to resort to desperate measures. Hence, my closet became my new niche for rebellious discoveries, my makeshift library in which I still spend countless hours in, reading and gleaning.

I look down at my hands: grown, callused, fingers, turning page after page in David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas, lost in its complex, interwined tales, comparing them to the small, baby-soft, fledging fingers of years before that left sticky marks on every page of The Giving Tree. Identical hands, yet the world for the person attached to them has changed immensely from that of a child alone, reading for friendship, to that of a matured person, reading for influence. Every precious book I have read may really "amount to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean, yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?" (Cloud Atlas).

Even now, I face Victor Hugo's thousand plus pages of Les Miserables and a collecter's edition of Where's Waldo. Daunting tasks but giving up would be akin to leaving a job unfinished . Besides, I never leave a book unfinished.

jhakyung195

Dec 31, 2012

Undergraduate / Lord of the Rings/ Stiff/ Sherlock Homes/ Harry Potter....; UChicago: Favorite books [3]

University of Chicago Prompt #2 (optional)

Share with us a few of your favorite books, poems, authors, films, plays, pieces of music, musicians, performers, paintings, artists, blogs, magazines, or newspapers. Feel free to touch on one, some, or all of the categories listed, or add a category of your own.

For me to see is to read. I have always been that way.
To this day, between eleven in the evening and three in the morning have always been my secret hours. Under the covers, the pages of my open book, illuminated by a sneaky circle of light, were gateways to worlds. I could immerse myself for hours reading about the nail-biting adventures of the unlikeliest hobbit-heroes in the Lord of the Rings, the real yet unbelievable experiments done with cadavers in Mary Roach's Stiff, the scintillating, analytical investigations of Sir Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, or occasionally indulge myself reuniting with childhood heroes such as that of Harry Potter, Dr.Seuss, and Sydney Carton. All of it, ink on paper that once written, is preserved, forever unchangeable, forever powerful.

Of course, despite my best efforts, my parents woke up these ungodly hours, searched for the telltale shine of mischief under the doorgap and unexpectedly barged in to wrest my latest inquisition and the possible fire-hazard in the flashlight from my hands under the sheets. However, the scoldings and the sudden raids did nothing to damp my young, stubborn spirit. If unsafe in my own bed, I had to resort to desperate measures. Hence, my closet became my new niche for rebellious discoveries, my makeshift library in which I still spend countless hours in, reading and gleaning.

I look down at my hands: grown, callused, fingers, turning page after page in David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas, lost in its complex, interwined tales, comparing them to the small, baby-soft, fledging fingers of years before that left sticky marks on every page of The Giving Tree. Identical hands, yet the world for the person attached to them has changed immensely from that of a child alone, reading for friendship, to that of a matured person, reading for influence. Every precious book I have read may really "amount to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean, yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?" (Cloud Atlas).

Even now, I face Victor Hugo's thousand plus pages of Les Miserables and a collecter's edition of Where's Waldo. Daunting tasks but giving up would be akin to leaving a task incomplete. Besides, I never leave a book unfinished.

This is my essay for this prompt. It was originally a UC essay that I cut down and revised a lot to fit the prompt. I was wondering if it deviates too much from the prompt? Are the books I chose okay? Are there so much that I seem to be overwhelming the reader? Is my second (technically third if you count the first sentence as its own paragraph) paragraph too...unnecessary? Critique and comments please! this essay is due tomorrow!