GHouse
Mar 19, 2009
Writing Feedback / Thesis Statement About My Goals (semi-pro football) [6]
I revised it a bit and shorten it some what.
Dear Professor,
Growing up in Bronx, New York, I was always different then my peers. I wasn’t driven by the latest fashion crazes. I would rather pick apart a computer and fix it. All my friends would have a hobby such as collecting things while my hobby was working on computers. There are many things about my background that I can write about, but there are only a few things that really shaped me as an individual. I’d like to write about two of those things: my accident, and computers. My likes could consist of a long list, so I’d like to write about one pursuit that I’m passionate about it is computers. Accordingly there is one goal that I want to accomplish, In the near future, and that is obtaining my A+ certificate.
The two things from my background that have a big impact on me are my accident, and computers. It happened, a few days after I turned 13, in a playground next to the Harlem River, surrounded by four high risers called river park towers. There were rumors about a “ghost town” under the Washington Bridge. My inquisitive friends wanted to see this “ghost town”, but I didn’t because just the way of getting there was dangerous. You had to climb over a railing which separated the Harlem River from the park. There were slippery rocks and the river was literally 3-5 feet from you, one slip and you’d be in the river. I gave in to the peer pressure received from my friends and decided to go. We climb over the railing one by one and continued, walking cautiously over the slippery rocks. As we were walking I slipped. Unfortunately, I didn’t slip in to the river, instead, the crown of my head cracked open on a rock. Blood poured down my face like a waterfall. I almost suffered a panic attack, but then I remembered from youth football when I had the wind knocked out of me, my coach told me to stay claim and breathe calmly. I wrapped a shirt around my head and my friends assisted me back and called 911. I had to get four stitches and was about to have another panic attack due to the doctors having to do it while I was awake. A few days later my uncle gave me a desktop computer because he wanted me to stop hanging out side so much because of my accident. I was thrilled and spent all night and day on it, figuring it out and learning it. After a few months of using my computer it did what every store brand computer does, broken down. I was always curious on how it worked and what was in the inside of it. I opened it and the inside looked way too complicated so I proceeded to closing it back up. After a few searches on my library’s computer and contemplating what the error messages that displayed on my computer meant I came to the conclusion that I needed a new OS (operating system). That was the first time, ever, that I fixed a computer problem. Since then, I’ve developed a passion for fixing and building computers; just because of an accident.
My curiosities about computers led to a passion for working with them. I’ve fixed my first computer at 14 years old. The experience left me in a web of even more curiosity. After about 2-3 years of reading about, studying, and fixing various computers, I decided to build my own. I built my own pc and with great success I completed it. From building my first PC, I’ve built over thirty computers for various people. I don’t only get satisfaction in building and fixing computers, but that I’ve taught myself every thing I know about computers and that I’m helping people along the way. Working with computers is a never ending challenge for me; new software and hardware are always surfacing, which means new problems and new components to build even better pc’s; there’s always something new to conquer that’s why I love computers.
The A+ Certificate is my most current, in demand, promising, goal. All these years of building and repairing computers and yet to employers I have nothing they want. I have no job experience, no certificates, and no degrees. Not only will obtaining an A+ certificate open many doors, but I will have accomplished another step in the endless footsteps of computers. I’ve been reading books, searching the internet, and joined messages boards dedicated to helping people that want to take the A+ exam. Studying for the A+, I have gained an abundance of knowledge I never knew about computers. The path to gaining this certificate has had a big character development on me. I have a new found respect and gratitude for teaching my self, and not looking to always be taught. I’ve always loved building and fixing computers, and now I’ll have a paper verifying that I’m certified at what I’m doing.
I revised it a bit and shorten it some what.
Dear Professor,
Growing up in Bronx, New York, I was always different then my peers. I wasn’t driven by the latest fashion crazes. I would rather pick apart a computer and fix it. All my friends would have a hobby such as collecting things while my hobby was working on computers. There are many things about my background that I can write about, but there are only a few things that really shaped me as an individual. I’d like to write about two of those things: my accident, and computers. My likes could consist of a long list, so I’d like to write about one pursuit that I’m passionate about it is computers. Accordingly there is one goal that I want to accomplish, In the near future, and that is obtaining my A+ certificate.
The two things from my background that have a big impact on me are my accident, and computers. It happened, a few days after I turned 13, in a playground next to the Harlem River, surrounded by four high risers called river park towers. There were rumors about a “ghost town” under the Washington Bridge. My inquisitive friends wanted to see this “ghost town”, but I didn’t because just the way of getting there was dangerous. You had to climb over a railing which separated the Harlem River from the park. There were slippery rocks and the river was literally 3-5 feet from you, one slip and you’d be in the river. I gave in to the peer pressure received from my friends and decided to go. We climb over the railing one by one and continued, walking cautiously over the slippery rocks. As we were walking I slipped. Unfortunately, I didn’t slip in to the river, instead, the crown of my head cracked open on a rock. Blood poured down my face like a waterfall. I almost suffered a panic attack, but then I remembered from youth football when I had the wind knocked out of me, my coach told me to stay claim and breathe calmly. I wrapped a shirt around my head and my friends assisted me back and called 911. I had to get four stitches and was about to have another panic attack due to the doctors having to do it while I was awake. A few days later my uncle gave me a desktop computer because he wanted me to stop hanging out side so much because of my accident. I was thrilled and spent all night and day on it, figuring it out and learning it. After a few months of using my computer it did what every store brand computer does, broken down. I was always curious on how it worked and what was in the inside of it. I opened it and the inside looked way too complicated so I proceeded to closing it back up. After a few searches on my library’s computer and contemplating what the error messages that displayed on my computer meant I came to the conclusion that I needed a new OS (operating system). That was the first time, ever, that I fixed a computer problem. Since then, I’ve developed a passion for fixing and building computers; just because of an accident.
My curiosities about computers led to a passion for working with them. I’ve fixed my first computer at 14 years old. The experience left me in a web of even more curiosity. After about 2-3 years of reading about, studying, and fixing various computers, I decided to build my own. I built my own pc and with great success I completed it. From building my first PC, I’ve built over thirty computers for various people. I don’t only get satisfaction in building and fixing computers, but that I’ve taught myself every thing I know about computers and that I’m helping people along the way. Working with computers is a never ending challenge for me; new software and hardware are always surfacing, which means new problems and new components to build even better pc’s; there’s always something new to conquer that’s why I love computers.
The A+ Certificate is my most current, in demand, promising, goal. All these years of building and repairing computers and yet to employers I have nothing they want. I have no job experience, no certificates, and no degrees. Not only will obtaining an A+ certificate open many doors, but I will have accomplished another step in the endless footsteps of computers. I’ve been reading books, searching the internet, and joined messages boards dedicated to helping people that want to take the A+ exam. Studying for the A+, I have gained an abundance of knowledge I never knew about computers. The path to gaining this certificate has had a big character development on me. I have a new found respect and gratitude for teaching my self, and not looking to always be taught. I’ve always loved building and fixing computers, and now I’ll have a paper verifying that I’m certified at what I’m doing.
