little monster
Jan 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Should Professors research or teach students? [5]
Hi Uncle Colin,
You have used "for example" twice, respectively in Paragraph Two and Paragraph Three. To avoid repetition, it's better to replace one of them with "for instance".
I see that you begin Paragraph Two with "firstly", but there are no other words such like "in addition", "furthermore", or "secondly" in the following paragraphs. I think your explanations can be presented in a more logical and organized way if you use more cohesive devices.
"...conducting on research can be a method to make contributions to the human beings and society."
"conducting research" may be better.
"There are many research universities, such as Harvard and Cambridge, where have high-quality teaching."
It should be "which" rather than "where".
Small mistakes: "enough experiment" in Paragraph Two should be "enough experiments", and "can yields" in Paragraph Three should be " can yield".
By the way, I appreciate your lexical resources a lot!
Little monster
Hi Uncle Colin,
You have used "for example" twice, respectively in Paragraph Two and Paragraph Three. To avoid repetition, it's better to replace one of them with "for instance".
I see that you begin Paragraph Two with "firstly", but there are no other words such like "in addition", "furthermore", or "secondly" in the following paragraphs. I think your explanations can be presented in a more logical and organized way if you use more cohesive devices.
"...conducting on research can be a method to make contributions to the human beings and society."
"conducting research" may be better.
"There are many research universities, such as Harvard and Cambridge, where have high-quality teaching."
It should be "which" rather than "where".
Small mistakes: "enough experiment" in Paragraph Two should be "enough experiments", and "can yields" in Paragraph Three should be " can yield".
By the way, I appreciate your lexical resources a lot!
Little monster
