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Posts by fsolano94
Joined: Jan 4, 2013
Last Post: May 25, 2013
Threads: 16
Posts: 30  
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From: United States of America

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fsolano94   
Jan 4, 2013
Undergraduate / Foolish means lacking in sense, judgement and/or discretion; What is an act of folly? [10]

Excellent conclusion. However, Everybody has committed actions lacking in common sense, simple mistakes like buying the wrong formula for the baby. deviates away from the main point of the essay. Its a good parsimony but maybe using a more pertinent and personal analogy will make your essay standout a little more.

TWO Suggestions for grammar:

(1) Folly is an unfamiliar word to me.

(2) So I have no opinion on what an act of folly is.

Can you help me with my essay.

MINE = University of Boulder @ Colorado 500 word essay
fsolano94   
Jan 4, 2013
Undergraduate / 'Getting back on feet' - U Colorado/ Enrich community [5]

Essay A (500 words maximum) The University of Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live. Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community and what are your hopes for your college experience?

I would be able to enrich the diverse and inclusive community at the University of Colorado at Boulder because I am the type of person to initiate a conversation, establish a friendship, and intermingle with others regardless of their ethnicity. These are some personal qualities of mine that were shaped during my early childhood and interactions with others in my school community. I was raised solely by my mother in a community I 'd rather not live in but can't complain about because there were times when me, my mom, and three older sisters were virtually homeless and had to live with friends and other family members, until my mom received government assistance and was finally able to back on her feet. Nonetheless, I am grateful for my difficulties and hardships because they have made me the optimistic and humble person that I am today. Ultimately that's what sets me apart from the rest of the crowd. I never let my difficulties and hardships get the better of me. Even when I was a child and watched my three sisters' drop out of high school, I still diligently pursued my educational aspirations. While I could have easily followed in their footsteps, I decided to apply myself to my studies which is why I am currently in the top twenty percentile of my graduating class and maintain A's and B's in challenging classes such as AP Calculus, AP Physics, AP Biology, AP Chemistry, and Anatomy and Physiology Honors to mention a few. Growing up in one of the more violent areas of the rustle and bustle city of Las Vegas, Nevada has motivated me to be a peacemaker and help raise the awareness of education in my community. Seeing innocent children get killed over petty excuses such as a color or watching kids in need who have no guidance or comfort inclined me to be a youth leader and mentor of the local boys and girls club in my community. Through my constant dedication to help make a difference in my community, I've been able to help save the lives of some talented and brilliant teenagers. Jonathan Parrales is living proof of my efforts. At first Jonathan was heading down a dark and frightful road mainly due to the negative influences in his life; his two older brothers Edgar and William. Fortunately, during a speech I delivered to the judo members of our middle school, I was able to help Jonathan avoid going down that dark and scary road his brothers have decided to take. Now that we are seniors in high school Jonathan is a Sargent First in JROTC, and like me, will be the first member in his family to graduate from high school and go to college. I am certain that I can make a difference anywhere I go but I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else than Boulder. A leader is what describes me and is what I can bring to the University of Colorado at Boulder

I am exactly at 499 characters
fsolano94   
Jan 4, 2013
Undergraduate / University of Colorado at Boulder; iconoclastic [3]

Thanks! And it turns out that iconoclastic does not mean what I thought it meant. Thanks for catching that. I will update my edited version once I overlook your essay.
fsolano94   
Jan 4, 2013
Undergraduate / Visual Effects/ Film production/Chromake/Compost/Animate; UTexas RTF Transfer/SOP [3]

I am so sorry I did not notice that I posted my essay for the University of Colorado at Boulder as a response to your essay. Please forgive me and here are some suggestions that I have for you essay:

(1) one day at the age of six
(2) AT-T'S
(3) instead of say the man quickly became my role model you should say and he quickly became my role model. It seems a little awkward when you say the man.

(4) would provide me many opportunities. (first sentence of opening paragraph)

Overall its a pretty good essay but could use some tweeking. Remember that admission officers want to read essays that are creative, personal, precise, and reflects who you are as an individual so make it really personal.
fsolano94   
Jan 4, 2013
Undergraduate / University of Colorado at Boulder; iconoclastic [3]

At my school I have found comfort by participating in the FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology) Robotics club and interacting with students who are like me; ambitious, intelligent, and eager to improve the world we live in by advancing the disciplines of science and engineering. Unlike the community I live in which revolves around drugs, gangs, and violence the FIRST Robotics community at my school revolves around programming software, scattered parts of 2520 (our schools robot), and iconoclastic students like myself. It is in this innovative and uplifting environment that I discovered my passion for engineering. Ultimately, I hope to obtain a degree in aerospace engineering and accomplish my goal which is to reduce the amount of global warming by finding alternative fuels for planes, jets, helicopters, and other spacecraft. In addition to my humble beginnings I greatly value my education which is why I have been applying myself for the last for years and have managed to maintain good grades in challenging classes such as AP Calculus, AP Chemistry, AP Biology, AP Physics, and Anatomy and Physiology Honors to mention a few. Math and science have always been my forte so to speak which is why I plan to obtain a degree in aerospace engineering. I couldn't imagine a better way to embark on my scientific exploration and dream of becoming an aerospace engineer than by attending the University of Colorado at Boulder. My iconoclastic way of thinking combined with Boulders myriad of resources will allow me to get an early jumpstart on my career.

I am ten words over the max wording so I will have to cut some things out. Please feel free to make any comments and suggestions. I am open to criticism and new ideas.

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