Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by JMitchell159
Joined: Jan 9, 2013
Last Post: Jan 10, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
JMitchell159   
Jan 10, 2013
Undergraduate / Engineering is a macrocosm of innovation and development; USC APP [2]

Engineering is a macrocosm of innovation and development. With many different fields in engineering, practically everything in today's society is at least indirectly benefited from engineering. Considering I am undecided, how my engineering degree will benefit society in the future is also particularly undecided. However, I have a particular interest in military sciences. I have applied to the Naval Officers Training Corps and intend to make a career out of the Navy. With an education from USC, I would use my knowledge in engineering to create groundbreaking solutions to benefit military readiness, specifically more efficient nuclear systems and reconnaissance technology. The future of America is heavily dependent on the status of our hegemony and foreign policy, and I hope that my wisdom and knowledge of engineering at USC would allow me to make a significant impact on the world in the future.
JMitchell159   
Jan 10, 2013
Undergraduate / Contribution to Petroleum-based economy/I'm a geek;U Southern California(Engineering) [4]

On essay 1, add some specificities to your ideas. I feel like USC would be impressed if they perceived you already gave a lot of thought to your ideas for benefitting society. I like how you sort of focus your intentions on the place you've grown up. It gives it a lot of personality and substance

On essay 2, you have to answer the prompt =). Unfortunately, USC can look into a dictionary and find your essay. That's never good. Make it original, make it you. Give it some spunk!
JMitchell159   
Jan 10, 2013
Undergraduate / Completely different college; Boston University Transfer [2]

"I don't know, it looks a little boring", I relied.

Replied

I walked through the shelves of Barnes and Noble so many times, I could find each section with my eyes closed.

Restate this. It sounds a bit awkward. Finding it with your eyes closed doesn't seem potent enough.

Avoid 'I replied' or 'I said' after every quotation. Those are just meant to clarify the speaker. If it is clear who is speaking and the tone in which the speaker is speaking in...you don't need that.

My mom had taught me a lesson that day, never judge a book by its cover.

Meh...a little cheesy

So I read the whole essay now. It seems like all three paragraphs are completely different and don't really tie together. Work on tying all the stories together (by theme, etc.) and wrap it up with a conclusion. Make it personal! Add some spunk, yo!
JMitchell159   
Jan 9, 2013
Undergraduate / UNC - Chapel Hill Supplement Essay: Message in a Bottle [2]

The Paradox of Living

The dividends of life can be placed into many kinds of categories. Nature has created partnerships for most things. The feeling of the asphalt beneath your feet can be hot or cold, the energy that flows between atoms can be positive or negative, and the soul within a man can be good or evil. Life as we know it is achieved by the balance and bonds of things that are opposites. Things either exist or they don't and one is either alive or dead. These are unquestionable truths that pertain to our world.

I beg to disagree. Pertaining to life, or the state of being alive, most would consider one to be living if one has a pulse and if the neurons in one's brain are firing messages to each other. Most would say, yes, that person is indeed alive. I disagree. Unless we, as intelligent beings, have created another category, a subset, within life, I do not think that being simply "alive" means one is actually living. One can have a pulse, move, grow, and reproduce, but that does not necessarily mean one is living. And I think there are fewer and fewer people alive who know and appreciate what living really means.

But how can one be alive, yet not living? It's a paradox that holds true especially to this day an age. Far too many live in paralysis where everything is according to the plan. They wake up at the same time, go to the same desk job (that they abhor), go home, watch the same reality TV show before dozing off where they dream of the same thing: what their life really could be...which is forgotten minutes after awakening and they do it all over again. Every day is the same. They are stuck in an endless, banal routine. It is so calculated, so mechanical.

So what does this have to do with writing a message in a bottle? Well, it is the answer to the aforementioned question. Like I said, there are few that actually understand and appreciate what living means and those who know what it means usually go through some sort of life-threatening moment that brings them to the epiphany. Iconic characters like Robinson Crusoe, Pi Patel, and Ralph from Lord of the Flies never find the zest of their lives until after they are put into a life-threatening situation, until they are forced to write a message in a bottle. Now, don't get discouraged. It is not like you have to be a castaway on an island for weeks to figure out what living really means. Or, maybe you do. The funny thing is, I don't really know what living means either. However, I feel as though I am capable of giving advice on how to live, but I more than likely am a victim of the actions I am criticizing. In my opinion, living is about finding the magic in the world that makes your soul sore and it is about breaking away from the binds of routine and making things happen.

So, what would I write if I were forced to put a message in a bottle?

"To those who read this, live."
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳