Undergraduate / Hi, I am from Nepal. Do you know your national game? - common app essay [5]

Probable extinction of Nepalese National Game: Common Application Essay

Hi, I am from Nepal. I do not have a good command of English language. Can you please comment on my common application essay? Any feedback as to how I can improve it will be greatly appreciated. Please, it is urgent. Thanks in advance.

I was never a huge sports person, partly because I was a girl and partly because I was good at studies. And thus I should only study and not play, and who was I to not comply?

When I was thirteen, I came across an interesting game. One of our relatives had come to visit my parents from our village. His name was Ram. Since I had never left the city, I was very curious about the village life. So Ram decided to teach me a village sport- Dandi-biyo. The game was played using two sticks- a longer one named Dandi which is used to hit a shorter stick named Biyo. We played until it got dark and we couldn't see anymore.

The next day at school, during lunch break, I gathered my (girl)friends and proudly demonstrated my new sport. We enjoyed playing the game so much that we spent the entire break playing Dandi-biyo.

But the joy at the discovery of the new girl sport did not last long. Our science teacher, who had a class after lunch break, commented on how he used to think we were "good" girls and how we proved him wrong. He said,"Dandi-biyo is not a noble game to play." I suddenly realized that I had an image to maintain, that of a nice girl. I felt like I let my teachers and parents, who had trusted me to have good a judgment, down. I decided to never play Dandi-biyo again.

When I came home from school, Ram was preparing to go back to the village. As he walked out of our front door, he commented that I was a bright girl and was very quick to learn Dandi-biyo. He said, "Play it as much as you can. After all it is the "national game of Nepal".

Are you sure?! I couldn't believe that Dandi-biyo was the national game of Nepal until I confirmed the fact from one of the thick general-knowledge books. Who would have thought an obscure game played while grazing goats in the villages is in fact the national game? More shocking was the idea that I had never heard of the national game before; neither had my friends, my teacher or my parents.

But guilt quickly followed the disbelief. I realized that when I decided to never play Dandi-biyo again, I was doing a disservice to my national game. And I was more ashamed because I was afraid to be true to myself. I had truly enjoyed playing Dandi-biyo. How could I not gather the courage to continue playing the game I loved? How could I not defend my Dandi-biyo when it was accused of being anything less than noble?

I had to do something about Dandi-biyo, and I had to do something to soothe the pangs of guilt I was experiencing. Thus, the next day at school, I went to the Principal's office and submitted a proposal on why Dandi-biyo should be included in our school's sports club. Surprisingly, the proposal was well-received. Dandi-biyo became one of the sports featured in our sports center. The first Dandi-biyo Competition was held. I came third, and that became my first participation in a sports event ever.

My school still holds an annual Dandi-biyo competition.