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Posts by gsisland
Joined: Jan 25, 2013
Last Post: Feb 2, 2013
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gsisland   
Feb 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / Promoting healthy psychological growth of students should be set up in high schooL? [3]

TOPIC : Some people suggest that more coursed promoting the healthy psychological growth of students should be set up in high school. They believe that such courses will help the students in their future careers. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

With growing concerns on every-heightening pressure or stress level among children, many insist that we should enhance education targeting at improving the psychological condition of young students. I agree with this argument and therefore this essay will discuss my opinion with some examples.

The primary reason can be found in recent social demands that require more courses contributing to sound psychology for high school students. To be precise, unlike the past when students used to pour much efforts and energy into entering good universities or passing exams, the young nowadays need to acquire more practical skills and knowledge tailed to their future goals and professions, which leads to heavy pressure or stress to them. In this sense, with an aim to help them to manage or control the obsession efficiently, more courses regarding sound mental growth are more necessary than previously.

Another reason for the establishment of such courses is that people today have to adapt themselves to social context continuously. Ever-increasing improvement and other changes in our lives mean that only those people with adequate expertise, professional commitment and competent mental condition can succeed in their lives. Therefore, it is very justifiable to set up more courses that are conducive to people's mental growth in school curricula.

In conclusion, as above, I believe that we should enhance education on the psychology for the reason which are the recent changes in social demands and surroundings. As a result of establishing the courses, both students and the social will benefit simultaneously.
gsisland   
Jan 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Nowadays people becoming parents later in life. Some think not good development [5]

hello.

i think that there are not various ideas in this essay.

For example, late childbearing causes the increasing rate of fetal deformity,

'They are very less life-time to spend with the children and they will die before their children complete undergraduate degree.' -> it's so extream example?? :)

Regards
Gon
gsisland   
Jan 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / Advertisement encourages to buy in bulk, whereas it should promote high quality of the products sold [5]

Advertisement helps to create awareness about latest products and their offers. It motivates people to buy more products but is should promote the quality of the product

which it already sold.
Advertisements help to create awareness about the latest products and their offers. this motivates people to buy more products than what we need firstly.

I completely agree that the advertisement intrigue people to buy additional products but it is not showing importance to the quality of the product.(but it does not give a guarantee against the good that put to sale.)

Advertisement attracts people to buy more products because it motivates(instigates ) them to buy by providing offers and discounts. For example, the recent advertisement in

For instance, Pepsodent tooth paste advertisement in which they are showing that it will relieve from tooth sensitiveness which makes people to try and test which result in

(as Pepsodent tooth paste advertisement in which they are showing that it will relieve from tooth sensitiveness, this tempts people to try and test it, which result in~ )
gsisland   
Jan 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / strict rules of children's behavior, children are allowed to do anything they like [2]

Many parents today have much interest on how to educate their children. while some say that children should be instructed by strict rules of behavior, others claim that

young people are allowed to do anything they want. this essay will compare advantages of each opinion.
Firstly, people who receive education strictly are more considerate about other people's situation. The strict education of behavior means that people should be more tolerable and punctual, which enables them to behave considerately. It is very important for children to live as a member of the society.

Secondly, unconventional instruction has many advantages. As young people can freely select what they want to do, they are able to learn freedom of the choice which is suitable for them, which contributes to the growth in the responsibility. Also, they will have a tendency to be flexible. Through the ability of free thinking, they can broaden their perspective and horizon resulting in the increase in adaptable capacity that they can overcome their problems.

In conclusion, the place where both views are clearly implicated is the army. It is essential to ramain the balance between strictness and freedom in military force. So parents have to remember the balance because it is vial for children's education.
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