Undergraduate / UOFM Ann Arbor Community Essay OF THE SELF MOTIVATED, KNOWLEDGE THIRSTY INDIVIDUALS [3]

Hi,

With your first sentence, you are setting up pretty bad mood. By saying "Defining my life into a subgroup of society is ridiculous (better word)." Basically, you saying that this whole topic is ridiculous, and people who put together too. I totally understand what you mean, and I feel you about this topic, because I understand where you are coming from. Anyways, you should begin by talking not about definition of your life but how do you classify yourself in this life. In the prompt they already acknowledges that all of us belong to many communities and subgroups all at once, but you should describe and define yours. Well, you should start with something like being muslim growing up in christian community.

I hope I am clear in what I am trying to explain.

Undergraduate / Bachelor's in health science/ Cancer patients; REASONS FOR TRANSFER/OBJECTIVES [USC [4]

Do you mean family members, when you write family in this sentence:
"I have lost family to cancer, I have family who are still fighting cancer, and I have family who has beat cancer."

If yes, than you should state that.

Overall, I liked it, but the beginning is too vague.

Why is USC amazing? what is so distinctive about it? whats is known for?